7 honest reviews of food I found in my fridge

My wife and son went on vacation last Friday. I was left to my own devices (laptop, smartphone). You probably think I spent my alone time having a series of mini-comas to catch up on all the sleep I’d lost during the last year of parenting. That’s because you haven’t met my brain. “Nice to meet you, I’m Daniel’s brain. I like to keep Daniel awake with inconsequential crap like whether he remembered to cross […]

Je suis Juno

Today, while we were all busy arguing with each other about the latest political headlines or being collectively outraged over the latest viral scandal, a humble spacecraft quietly made history. Almost five years after its launch in August 2011, the Juno probe just entered the orbit of our solar system’s biggest planet, Jupiter. To call Juno’s journey “epic” isn’t an overstatement. For the first two years, Juno followed a carefully planned path, perfectly timed to […]

Hey, Mirror! Did you order brain pizza?!

Hey, Mirror! Did you order brain pizza? You must be very confused right now. That’s natural. “Brain pizza? What’s that?!” you’re wondering. I get it. It makes no sense. How about we back up a bit? On May 18, 2016, you’ve published an article about football goalkeeper Simon Mignolet. You ended that article with a joke about Simon DOING THE SPAGHETTI LEGS. (ALL CAPS – the pinnacle of journalistic writing – are in your original.) […]

Happy first, son!

Nathan? Hi. It’s your dad here. Is this thing on? I know you can’t hear me. Text doesn’t transmit sound waves, I’m told. You can’t read this yet, either, because you still believe that books are delicious meals you haven’t quite figured out how to chew properly. But you might read this one day, on your iScreen 3D or Goggles-Bot Ultra or whatever all the cool kids use in 2030. When you do, here’s a […]

David Wolfe gives you brain cancer

Lately, the name “David Wolfe” has been popping up in my Facebook feed with alarming regularity. In case you haven’t heard of him, David “Avocado” Wolfe (yup, “Avocado”) is a self-proclaimed nutritionist and health guru. According to his own website, he’s the “rock star and Indiana Jones of the superfoods and longevity universe.” So he’s a fictional archaeologist who’s really good on the drums, I guess? He’s the man behind this viral gem: Yeah, David […]