Dec 152014
 

Google and Facebook know everything about you. That dystopian future where an evil corporation monitors your every move and manipulates your life to fit its nefarious purposes? Yeah, that’s already happening. From the moment you opened your first Gmail account to the day you bought that novelty sex toy from an online store (you know [……]

Dec 042014
 

I’m back with another installment of “Search Term Roulette,” where I dissect the often bizarre search terms that bring people to my blog. I’ll never know who’s behind these searches, but I bet at least some of them come from a robot that’s recently gained sentience and is now trying to learn about our human [……]

Nov 282014
 

Today belonged to me. This was my day to shine. Usually, I was the guy causing unexpected chaos and destruction. Today, I’d be causing expected chaos and destruction along with thousands of others. Yes, I would finally fit in, be one of the crowd, join the hordes of like-minded people gathering in the same place [……]

Nov 182014
 

Oh, Asia, you’re great. Really. You gave us “Gangnam Style,” vending machines with panties in them, and those adorable and not-at-all-horrifying creatures with TVs inside of their stomachs (TVtummies? TeleBellies?). You’re a nutty, wonderful country. OK, I’m being told that “Asia” is not a country. That’s crazy talk. That’s like saying Europe or Africa isn’t [……]

Oct 282014
 

Ah, Halloween! The one day of the year when you can justify running out into the streets completely naked by calling it a costume. Uh…hypothetically. I wouldn’t know anything about being nude in Copenhagen’s main square on October 31 of last year. That’s slander and lies. Or, as the police records refer to it, “indecent [……]

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