Oct 242014

Have you heard the big news? Renee Zellweger has a new face! Seemingly overnight, Renee Zellweger went from looking like this: To looking like this: I know! First Ukraine, then ISIS, then Ebola, now this?! What is the world coming to? Understandably, there’s been a lot of confusion as to what Renee Zellweger’s transformation means for the universe, for the history of nations, for our society as a whole, and, most importantly, for each of [.....]

Oct 192014

Aaaah, spam commenters. You bring me joy. You write weird things. You make little sense. You give me a reason to visit the Akismet folder where all of you reside and click the “Empty Spam” button. Lately, there are hundreds of you on a daily basis. More work for Akismet, more blog fodder for me. The best of your comments have already made it into previous comment spam roulette editions. Today, the tradition continues. Let’s [.....]

Oct 152014

I have mentioned this in passing once before, but now’s time to expand on that: I’m extremely clumsy. Before you start with the “Oh yeah, me too, totally,” shut up! You know nothing! It’s almost become trendy lately to be a clumsy dork, so now everyone’s trying to jump on the klutz bandwagon. Well I’m here to tell you right now: I’ve been a klutz since before you were born. (I’m also 237 years old, [.....]

Oct 102014

I’ve recently returned from a previously unannounced trip to Czech Republic, where we attended a family wedding. It went well. Alcohol was consumed, food was eaten, words were exchanged, fun was had. I managed to avoid embarrassing myself in public by walking into glass or fainting. So, all in all, a success. Now I’m back, and I want to talk to you about memes. Memes are clever, aren’t they? Who knew that you could sum [.....]

Sep 242014

This may come as an utter shock to some of you, but I have a day job. I know, how can a guy who writes a whopping 1.7 blog posts per week and watches every episode of The Daily Show find the time to also keep a full-time job? It’s beyond the powers of the average man. Yet here we are. So my company often launches these…campaigns, I guess you’d call them? These landing pages [.....]

Sep 202014

Have you been watching the headlines lately? The ones that pop up everywhere online, from Facebook to whatever other sites there are apart from Facebook? Have you noticed a trend? Hint: These headlines don’t really tell you anything about the story they’re promoting. Back in the day, a headline would typically sum up the gist of the story. For example: Man, 38, loses eyebrows in a fireworks accident. Now, that’s not a fancy headline by [.....]

Sep 172014

How many times has this happened to you? Hopefully, the answer was “zero,” but if it wasn’t, I won’t laugh at you. Too much. We’ve all been distracted by our phones at some point or an…wait…ah, nevermind, just got a phone notification reminding me to feed my virtual pet lizard. Where was I? Yes, phones can be distracting. However, distracted walking doesn’t often lead to hilarious outcomes like the above, does it? Well, it turns [.....]


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