Guest Expressed: “Bizarre Questions Asked on Australian Citizenship Tests”

Today’s guest post takes us to Australia – the land of inexplicably odd test questions. Let’s take a look.

Whenever you want to naturalise in a country – this means that you want to become of that nationality – you have to pass a citizenship test.  These are held in most countries across the world and are often a real bone of contention because many claim that those who were born and raised in that country wouldn’t even be able to answer those questions.  However, so long as you are not one person whose life and livelihood is at stake through one of these tests, the questions can actually be a source of great hilarity.  Australians, it seems, have some of the funniest citizenship tests on the market.  Let’s have a look at some of the bizarre questions that have been asked.  I, personally, wonder what the answers have been as well.

The Australian Citizenship Test and Strange Terminology

Australians are funny people anyway, so it will come as no surprise that they ask some strange questions of people who want to become Australian.  Many of these questions are probably just formulated wrong, but some are actual questions that will have most people completely baffled.  For instance, do you know what a bloody little beauty is?  Also, can you tell whether “chuck a spaz”, “chuck a u-ey” and “chuck a sickie” are related terms?  Other questions involve terminology that will only be known by someone who actually is from Down Under.  For instance, terms such as “slabs”, “having a slash”, “flashing a brown eye”, “snags”, “tinnies”, “doing your block”, “barney” and “biffo” may sound like they were from a language that is anything other than English.

Is the Australian Citizenship Test all about Learning the Lingo?

The Australians do seem very keen on making sure that new residents don’t just understand the history of Australia, but actually know how to speak “Australian”.  Hence, on the citizenship test, people are asked to complete sentences.  For instance, complete some of the following:

• Fair suck of the …
• You’re going home in the back of a …
• Fair crack of the …
• If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother …

Australians and Full Essays about Behaviour

Australians aren’t known the world over for their fantastic literary achievements.  However, it seems that full essays are needed on citizenship tests.  For instance, discuss in no less than 3,000 words what it means to “have had a gutful and no longer can be fagged”.

They also want to know how people behave.  Hence, they will ask you if you have ever given or received a wedgie.

Australians and Food

Australians seem to have certain obsessions with food as well.  Sometimes, they use these questions to determine what the country of origin of a person taking the test are, although it seems that they could have just asked that.  Instead, however, they want to know whether you regularly eat chop suey, chow mein or kay see ming.  They also want to know whether you can cook a rissole by listing the ingredients.  Furthermore, you have to explain how you would eat a TimTam.  Other food related questions include whether or not you have ever eating a chop, a three bean salad and two serves of pav.  They also want to know whether you washed this down with someone else’s beer (my guess is that the answer to this question should be “no”).

Australians clearly have certain laws about food, because they want to know which vegetable is required by law when you want to cook a hamburger.  As a clue, you are told that the vegetable starts with the letter “b”.

As fun as these questions sound to outsiders, for someone who really wants to be naturalised in Australia, this is serious business.  Luckily, if you want St Kitts and Nevis citizenship, you won’t be asked these types of odd questions.