Cat Chronicles: June 12


Have you ever had your tail pinched in a door?

If you haven’t, there’s a good chance you’re not a cat. If you have, then you know how Django felt around one week ago.

Our cats, seeing as they’re cats, still haven’t grasped such concepts as “don’t scratch that”, “don’t play with that” and “don’t go there”. Anything with a “don’t” in it, basically.

This also applies to their repeated attempts at following us onto the balcony. Ever since Django and Pebbles became permanent residents in our apartment I find myself spending increasingly more time on the balcony. Occasionally I’m there to clean out their cat litter, but mostly I’m there to sob uncontrollably over the fact that it’s the only place left in the house where I can be alone and in peace.

After one of the regular cat litter cleaning sessions I was going back into the apartment and had to shoo Django away from the balcony door. What I failed to notice was that, while I was turning around with the litter box in my hands, Django ninjaed his way back to the door and placed his tail ever so carefully between the door and the wall, where the hinges are.

What happened when I closed the door cost me several years of my life and about 17 million nerve cells. Django let out a blood-curdling noise that is best described as “ten baby seals being bludgeoned to death by a shrieking opera singer”.

Pebbles Lying Down

Here’s a picture of Pebbles looking cute to take your mind off that mental image

I frantically scrambled to open the door again. Django bolted into another room where he proceeded to hide behind the couch and send evil stares my way. Thankfully his tail was intact and he quickly recovered from the shock. We’re back to being friends, although I can’t rule out that he’s plotting to murder me in my sleep one day.

The next day we took both kittens to the vet to get sterilised and neutered, which is a mandatory requirement of the shelter where we got them. So, in addition to pinching Django’s tail in the door I am indirectly responsible for him losing his testicles. I really should start sleeping with both eyes open.

Both surgeries went fine. In the evening we were treated to a few solid hours of Django and Pebbles wobbling around the house and unsuccessfully attempting to jump onto furniture while still recovering from anaesthesia. They even attempted such extreme feats as eating in this semi-drugged state…with predictable results:

Django Passed Out In A Bowl

Nom-nom time AND nap time at once. Win-win!

Other than that they’re just kittens being kittens. Their play time is usually around 5AM, which you will notice is when the rest of us tend to sleep. How two little kittens manage to generate the noise-equivalent of a rampaging elephant herd will forever remain a mystery. A loud, sleep-shattering mystery.

To wrap up, here are Django and Pebbles in a rare moment of calm and tranquility (warning, the video you’re about to watch has an unusually high adorableness factor):


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12 thoughts on “Cat Chronicles: June

  • Kianwi

    I was going to comment on what you said, but then I forgot what I wanted to say when I watched that adorableness videoness. Ack, they are so cute! So, hold on, let me look at the post again…

    Okay, what I wanted to say was, I hate when I accidentally hurt one of my pets, because they don’t understand when you say sorry! They just think you hurt them for no reason at all. My cats take forever to forgive me. We are all doomed if cats ever get opposable thumbs.

    • Daniel Nest Post author

      Yeah them kittens are cute alright!

      And yes – it’s difficult to explain to them that it was an accident…they just make you feel like a horrible owner for a while!

  • ellamedler

    Aw, so adorable. Like little angels sent to put you in the right frame of mind for having babies around the house. Only with the babies, YOU do all the grooming. LOL – I can just see that coming! 😉

  • Valerie

    Eddie always enjoyed teaching our cats to perch on his shoulder. If you have not already tried this, I highly recommend not teaching them this trick.for eventually, one day one of your cats will want to get somewhere high. And they’ll wait… They’ll wait for you to stand next to it. Then, they’ll scale you like a tree to reach it. Kittens have sharp claws…. Cats can tear your back flesh clean off.

    Be careful out there!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  • PAMO

    That video IS so adorable- you were right! I laughed throughout your post, between the sobbing and the joy and the plotting murder thing. You see, we have five cats in our home and even after all these years, the stories NEVER get old.
    In a word- LOVED it. OK- that’s two words. Your cats are WONDERFUL!!!

    • Daniel Nest Post author

      Thanks Pam. Glad you’re enjoying the humour and the cats.

      And whoa – five cats is five times the trouble! My mom actually has five cats back home in Ukraine (had 7 at the highest), a dog, a horse, etc…animals are pretty awesome.

  • Carrie Rubin

    It’s only a matter of time before you wake up and find a cat on your chest, stealing your breath.

    As for that video, looked a bit like kitty foreplay to me. You might want to put an XXX rating on the next one…

    • Daniel Nest Post author

      Yeah there are like 10 minutes of stuff I had to censor out in that video!

      And I wouldn’t be surprised if Django and Pebbles will join forces to make me pay for my mistakes in the near future.