Aug 142014

The thing I love about social media is that it lets people instantly share every little thing about their lives. The thing I hate about social media is that it lets people instantly share every little thing about their lives. Don’t get me wrong. I care about my friends (except Freddy, because fuck that guy), but there are only so many of their detailed dietary diaries I can read before slowly turning insane. We’re probably [.....]

Jul 292014

So I’m on vacation in my home city of Kharkov, Eastern Ukraine. I know, I know. You’re all like, “Eastern Ukraine? Isn’t that where all the Nazi Bandera fascists are brutally murdering Russian speakers, just for fun?” What can I say? I’m an extremely brave Russian-speaking Ukrainian. I have flown right into the center of the unstoppable Nazi rampage. Not only that, I brought my wife with me. For moral support. Plus she makes for [.....]

Jul 202014

So the pro-Russian rebels have essentially given the world an ultimatum: You’ll be allowed to properly investigate the MH17 crash site, as long as Kiev agrees to a ceasefire. In related news, an infamous serial killer said he’ll allow the police to see the victims’ bodies as long as he’s promised he won’t be imprisoned. A ceasefire?! Like the last ceasefire that you have so solemnly respected? The 10-day ceasefire during which you have killed [.....]

Jul 182014

To all the people who call themselves “journalists” and “reporters” working for Russia Today, Russia 1,, NTV, and the many other voices of Kremlin propaganda. Yesterday, the world witnessed another terrible event happen on the territory of the country where I was born and raised. This time, it cost more than “just” Ukrainian and Russian lives. Almost 300 people, 80 of them children, died when Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 crashed on the territory of [.....]

Jul 152014

We’ve all met an extremely clingy person at some point in our lives. You’ve gone on a date that you didn’t quite enjoy, while the other party fell in love with everything about you. Your next phone conversation was awkward. You tried to gently convey to the other person that, maybe, the two of you should never meet under any circumstances ever again, while they demanded to know exactly which part of their maniacal infatuation [.....]

Jul 012014

Forgot to tell you all: I’m on vacation. You won’t see me again…until two weeks from now. While you wait for me, here’s an angry rant about wine troubles from today’s guest, Gerald Weber: If there is one thing I love, it’s getting drunk on a good bottle of wine.  But sometimes, my enjoyment of the sacred process is ruined.  And that gets me mad.  Here are some of the nasty wine-enjoyment-ruining things that really [.....]

Jun 202014

Someone wise once said, “Movies are the magic butterflies that help us play dreams of transcendence.” Actually, nobody said that, because that makes absolutely zero sense. But movies are pretty neat. And, more often than not, it’s the jaw-dropping special effects that make them so. Most special effects rely on huge, life-sized replicas of whole city blocks, expensive CGI work, and complex visual illusions. Most special effects…but not all of them. Here are five movies [.....]


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