Dec 172012
 

Sports cars – can’t live without them, can’t drive them without making a fool of yourself.

Today Chris Turberville-Tully makes yet another appearance on the blog to share some driving tips, with illustrated “DO NOTs”.

Enter Chris:

When you want to learn how to drive a powerful car properly, you can take lessons from professional instructors at established driving schools. When you want to learn how NOT to drive a powerful car, there are guys with cellphone cameras and idiots in out-of-control cars.

Let’s visit the Hall of Shame.

Lesson #1: Allow for Proper Spacing

Most of us have dealt with bumper-to-bumper freeway traffic, creeping along inch by inch. It makes us yearn for an empty road where we can really air things out. In some abandoned parking lot somewhere, these two guys have all the room in the world to see what their cars can do, and they still end up trying to occupy the same space…at the same time.

Lesson #2: Driving a Cobra doesn’t make you a Cobra Driver

Here’s a guy in a very classic Cobra entering the road after several others have gone before him. Perhaps the other drivers made it look too easy. The poor fellow in the Cobra just can’t seem to be able to make a gentle left turn onto the open road.

Lesson #3: Shiny Road are Slick Roads

Many of us like shiny things, but a shiny road is not one of them. Mustangs may be the most legendary muscle car in American automotive history, but sometimes that power can work against you on slick surfaces.

Lesson #4: On Straightaways, Drive Straight

Experts can make even the most difficult tasks look easy. Idiots make easy tasks look impossible. This poor sap either has more power than he can handle, or, he has picked a very inopportune time and place to attempt a U-turn.

Lesson #5: Don’t Try To Video Your Exploits

Here we’re treated to the dashboard view of a couple of numbskulls trying to set a land-speed record out on a rural, two-lane road. Of course, the occasional bit of top soil blows onto the road. Let’s just say this is not good for traction. (Warning: In the midst of the crash, passenger language becomes a bit crude.)

Lesson #6: Don’t Park Your Performance Car Next to an Idiot

Actor Paul Walker learned this lesson when he parked his $130,000 Audi R8 next to a big Dodge pick-up truck. How ironic is it that Walker—known for his role in “Fast & Furious”—would end up with a crunched car? And, it was parked!

Lesson #7: Screeching Tires and Billowing Smoke are Real Attention Getters

This showoff probably thought that by burning out in a mostly deserted strip mall parking lot, he was safe. Wrong. Sometimes karma arrives in just the amount of time it takes a cop to flip on his siren.

Lesson #8: Vipers Can Bite Their Owners

First of all, the guy who made this video should have had both hands on his steering wheel. However, he was lucky enough to come through unscathed. The guy in the Dodge Viper that he was videoing wasn’t quite so lucky. One lesson for all drivers here is that traffic often backs up at off ramps.

Chris Turberville-Tully works with HR Owen, a luxury sports car dealership in England. HR Owen sells Maserati, Aston Martin, Bentley, BMW and Audi cars.

Leave a comment, get a reply. That's how I roll.

  10 Responses to “Guest Expressed: “8 Ways NOT to Drive a Sports Car””

Comments (10)
  1. Man, you never disappoint! ROFL!

     
  2. Granted these guys are all morons, but I would love the chance to get on a racetrack in a 1967 Ford Mustang Fastback (just like Eleanor in the 2000 version of Gone in 60 Seconds) and see how fast I can make her go…

     
  3. I think I’ll wrap this blog post up as a webinar instruction package for my new licensed teenage son. It’s truly a scary time when your male offspring are newly behind the wheel.

     
  4. As a mother whose oldest son will soon be driving, this is not encouraging. And what’s up with the dunce in #4? 100 year old grannies could drive better than that.

     
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