Oct 252012
 

Halloween is upon us!

For some, it means dressing up as Ironman, going trick-or-treating, binge eating bags of candy, and passing out from sugar overdose. For others, it means dressing up as a naughty nurse or sexy fireman, binge drinking bottles of liquor, and passing out from alcohol overdose…

And then there are those who look at all the Ironman, naughty nurse, and sexy fireman costumes and think “Nah, this is way too sane for my taste! I need a way to tell the world that I’m unstable, unpredictable, and likely a future serial killer. But, like, in a fun way!”

That final group is in luck, for today I talk exclusively about Halloween costumes with a solid “WTF” factor. I’m not the first or the last person to comment on bizarre Halloween costumes. I am, however, one of the few to focus on the lucrative Danish market niche.

The atrocities listed below were found by looking exclusively at online stores in Denmark. These Halloween costumes may or may not be available in your country, which should make you either upset or immensely, indescribably relieved. I bet it’s the latter.

19. Work Out

The site describes it as a “sexy fitness costume.” Apparently, “sexy” is code for “having Super Mario’s face forever trapped in your crotch.”

18. Blow-Up Witch

 Something tells me you’re gonna need a much bigger broomstick, mam…wait, sir?!

17. Adam

What do you mean by “where’s your Eve”? I’m dressed as Adam! Adam—my eccentric ballet-dancing neighbour with nipple warts.

16. Count Duckula

Finally, a Halloween costume that successfully combines two completely incompatible things: a purple coat and a red bow tie!

15. Jesus Costume

Jesus Christ!

14. Zebra Morphsuit

“Hey guys, what’s up?!”

“OH MY GOD THAT ZEBRA IS TALKING TO US! AAAAAAARGH! SOMEBODY SHOOT IT!”

“Dude, calm down, it’s just my Halloween costume.”

“Wow! Whoa! You totally got me! That costume is so damn lifelike!”

13. Killer B

“Ha! I’m a killer, and I’ve got the letter ‘B’ on me. I’m ‘Killer B.’ ‘Killer Bee’! Get it?! It’s a pun! Hilarious! Ha! Haha! HAHAHAHAHHA! No seriously though, I’ll chop your head right the fuck off, don’t fuck with me!”

12. Bananawoman

It’s a mango…it’s a lemon…it’s Bananawoman—the most nonexistent superhero ever!

11. Morphsuit Orange

It’s either a carrot or a urinary tract infection patient. Or maybe a carrot with urinary tract infection. That’s the beauty of this Halloween costume—it’s so versatile.

10. Top Shelf

Nice rack! No, I mean, nice shelf. Top! Top shelf! Dammit.

9. Penguin Skinsuit

This actually gets credit for looking far more terrifying than Count Duckula ever could. Bonus points for using the same red bow tie.

8. Bugs Bunny

OK, this kind of costume works great when it makes you look like Bugs Bunny. It works far worse when you appear to be wearing Bugs Bunny’s skin as a trophy while brandishing his severed head atop of yours with a smug, triumphant expression on your face.

7. Condom

This costume faithfully recreates the look of a standard condom, complete with limbs, red speedos, and a V-neck. Then again, I sincerely doubt this Halloween costume would be improved by making it more realistic.

6. The Invisible Cat

The costume is aptly named “The Invisible Cat,” because indeed no cat is visible in that picture. The cat, along with all other lifeforms, has been devoured by the humanoid embodiment of the Devil pictured above.

5. Cockroach

I love how this guy is so in character. This is his absolute best “grumpy cockroach” impression. It’s like he studied cockroaches all his life, so that today he could finally shine. Hats off to you, sir!

4. Dancing Flower

At almost every Halloween party, there’s an obnoxious douchebag with a guitar and an idiot in a tacky plant suit. Rarely are these two the same guy.

3. Disco Dracula

Dracula in his young, hip, party days and long before his tragic transformation into a duck.

2. Cannabis

Funnily enough, the cannabis plant is the only one in this picture with enough sense of shame to appear embarrassed by this whole situation.

1. The Well Hung Scotsman

The surprising thing about this Halloween costume is that the penis isn’t a part of it. That poor model has no luck getting any Disney gigs!

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  39 Responses to “19 WTF Danish Halloween costumes”

Comments (38) Pingbacks (1)
  1. Those are truly awful. Except Bugs Bunny. There’s nothing wrong with Bugs!

     
  2. I am highly amused and also weirded out by all the morph suits.

     
  3. I got nuthin… speechless…

     
  4. The companion piece for “Work Out” should be a Bikini Waxer.

    This is a DIY guy, but he could easily sell his idea to the Danes.

     
  5. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Especially the last one.

     
  6. I’m going to have nightmares about that penguin. Thanks a lot.

     
  7. That’s the best thing about Halloween, you can dress up as anything your imagination lets you and nobody says a word about it.

     
  8. Wow. The work out one is nasty and the for some reason the cockroach one disgusted me…not because it was a cockroach, but his bare legs creeped me out!

    I have to admit, though, I did like the killer B :)

     
    • Ha, that’s right – you want your cockroaches to have…cockroachy legs…not bare human ones…well I guess Killer B is one of the less offensive entries on the list ;)

       
  9. The Workout costume is hysterical and more than just a little disgusting. LOL

     
  10. I think Banana-woman and the Well-hung Scotsman would make an excellent couple!

     
  11. Is Banana Woman’s sworn enemy Cucumber girl?

     
  12. Leave it to the Danish, they are so whacky cool. And by whacky cool I mean whacky. I love how you totally overlooked the duck/Dracula combo as being the “two completely incompatible things.”

    Well played sir, well played.

     
  13. Bananawoman – I had a completely different visual in mind, probably due to that erotic banana eating contest they used to hold at The Button in Ft Lauderdale during spring break.

     
  14. I loved this, and your captions are so good. Thanks for the laughs!

     
  15. You know, Daniel, for the first time in way too many years I’m quite glad I live in England. You’d need a sense of humour enhanced by the use of No.2′ smokable inspiration at the very least to even stand on the same side of the street as someone dressed like that! Don’t even know whether to laugh at them or pity those people.

     
  16. Does the Count Duckula just look like a recycled Pee Wee Herman suit?

     
  17. Another great post. I needed that laugh. I am still trying to figure out what’s up with the pubic hair in costume #19. How would you explain what you’re dressed as if someone asked? And the “carrot with urinary tract infection”? Perfect. Must go retweet this.

     
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