Wednesday fun: I respond to a hate comment…

In late 2011 I’ve written a blog post where I made fun of the sexist nature of a book called “Don’ts For Wives”.

You can read this world-famous and critically acclaimed article right here.

Today I woke up to a fun little comment on that article:

I’m extremely touched to have received my first ever hate comment. This means I’m becoming visible in the online world and my blogging efforts are finally bearing fruit.

I decided to not only keep the comment, but respond to it in this blog post. I simply can’t let a great comedic opportunity like that pass me by.

And so, here goes:

“Hi there, lk nfdsk (if that is, in fact, your name),

I’m glad you’ve stopped by my blog just long enough to vomit out a few confused words in the comments section. I appreciate your attempt to provide an opposing point of view and stimulate a healthy discussion. Thank you!

However, I couldn’t help but notice that your comment was as nonsensical as it was grammatically challenged. Nevertheless, I will try to extrapolate the points you may have been trying to make from the jumble of words you call a sentence. I will address each point individually, so that we all can get a satisfactory closure to this hilarious misunderstanding.

Point One: I am unaware that “Don’ts For Husbands” exists

If you continued reading beyond the title of the blog post, you’d have noticed that I acknowledge the existence of “Don’ts For Husbands” in the second paragraph.

I’m not sure how that has escaped your attention. Maybe you were too busy confusing “feminism” with “feminist” or otherwise butchering the English language. Maybe you were overwhelmed by the amount of words in the article, because you’ve only read colouring books up until now.

In any case, you have needlessly and redundantly (see what I did there?) restated the point I have already made in the article itself.

Point Two: The fact that “Don’ts For Husbands” exists invalidates the points I make about “Don’ts For Wives”

OK, “Don’ts for Wives” has a twin book for husbands. What impact does that have on my article about “Don’ts For Wives”. Does the existence of one somehow weaken the points made about the other? Or should that make it impossible for me to state those points?

I don’t believe that’s how the world works. If it did, then the fact that there are other people in the world would prevent me from calling you a moron. Now, let’s see: you’re a moron! Yup, that theory doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

Maybe the idea was to show everyone that you know of another book? In which case – congratulations on knowing a whole two books. You’re truly the Socrates of Internet age.

Point Three: Being a feminist is a bad thing

I may be misinterpreting your sincere attempts at communication, but it appears that you’ve used “feminist”/”feminism” as an insult. I can’t see how the fact that someone defends women’s rights can be used against him/her. Then again, here I’m using logical reasoning, so maybe that’s where you and I are different?

Point Four: You are unable to distinguish a comedy blog from a website offering serious commentary

I’m sure you weren’t actually trying to make this point, but it came through loud and clear!

Did you notice that my tagline reads: “Read. Laugh. Learn*. Return (*learning optional)”? Wait, why am I even asking? Of course you haven’t! We’ve already established that reading is like Kryptonite to you.

My blog is many things, but it’s most certainly not a platform for factual and unbiased discussions of the world. If you want some of that, watch Fox News. Ha, kidding! You’re better off watching Pikachu argue with Tinky Winky. Same educational value, but far more entertaining to observe.

Thanks again for visiting! It’s been a true pleasure having you on my blog, if only for the brief moment that it took you to make a misguided and pointless comment.

Something tells me I won’t be hearing back from you, so I wish you all the best with your future Internet adventures. May your awkward comments fill many an online forum and cause many a confused reaction. After all, people like you are what makes the Internet so damn fun!

Should you wish to visit and comment again, I’ll be here. I’m always up for a good laugh.

Feministically yours,
Daniel Nest”

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37 thoughts on “Wednesday fun: I respond to a hate comment…

  1. Just found your blog, thanks to The Write Transition and your recent blogger award nomination. This is very funny, the kind of humor I enjoy most.  Now I’m off to read the article that caused this hate comment written by Mr. Alphabet.

    Like

    •  @schneiderlynn Welcome to the blog. Happy to hear you found it funny, always nice to make people laugh! Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Mr. Alphabet could have also been a Mrs. Alphabet – I believe “lk nfdsk” is one of those uni-gender names.

      Like

  2. raeme67 says:

    Funny stuff, but I thought the guy had a point on the top of his head most likely. I hope the angry feminist, (or is it feminisim?),  has gotten her java fix and is feeling better now.

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  3. Michelle Dear says:

    Oh Daniel, sweetie. I can’t believe this is the first hate comment you have ever received considering the snarky yet addictive content on your blog! I get them on a daily basis.

    You should have responded in a completely nonsensical manner so that the commenter would have understood the reply. Now you are stuck with someone who will only read the first paragraph and lose control of his or her bowels because his or her head is stuck so far up their ass that they are looking through a glass belly-button, and the confusion will create a seizure that shakes their the very foundation of their gastrointestinal tract.

    I had to stop responding to complete idiots after awhile since it was wasted on the inept. It’s sad too, because I really enjoy beating down complete idiots who lack the ability of insight. Unfortunately, due specifically to that character defect, they will never be able to understand what it is that I am trying to show them. The words are wasted on the retarded. I would venture to guess that about 89.765321% of the US population (and I would guess that this particular person is from the US; not from the UK; even though you are located elsewhere) is completely devoid of education, and has never been introduced to the concept of analysis and thought-provoking response and debate of intelligent ideas.

    Ah, the degradation of our educational system.

    Now I am going to point out one thing. And please do not shoot the messenger. Deary, I know you and I have spoken several times on Twitter, so I know you won’t mind if I say this, since English isn’t your primary language (if I recall correctly.) Run a spell check before publishing, because you are asking for people to shoot you in the foot. I say this out of respect for you, because I will just have to run to your defense, and you know I will. I won’t say why, but I want you to take a look at your contractions (not that you have recently delivered a baby; different context) and see what you find.

    Not trying to be anal. I want to save you from someone else getting OT and being ridiculous and nitpicking in response.

    🙂

    Damned those people from the US. And you know how I feel about us.

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    • @Michelle Dear Whoa, quite an essay of a response.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Actually, my intention wasn’t to get through to the commenter (who has no doubt already forgotten he/she has ever visited the blog). It was to use him/her as a hypothetical receiver to whom the post is addressed. The real audience are people like you, who’ll read, understand, and appreciate the humour. Based on the responses I’ve received so far – mission accomplished!

      As for your comment on the use of English – I have no issues with constructive criticism, so please go ahead and correct at will! Having reviewed the use of contractions in my blog I can’t really pinpoint the error you’re referring to.

      The only “grey area” contractions used in the post are “don’ts vs don’t’s” – and there are different sides to this story (see here for an interesting discussion of that: http://bit.ly/zHJBQ4). However, since I’m directly quoting the books’ titles I’m sticking to their usage of this particular contraction.

      If you’re referring to something else – feel free to point it out! I’ll fix it and pretend it was correct all along.

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      • Michelle Dear says:

        @Daniel Nest Yeah. I’m the one that was retarded. It was my mistake. And it wasn’t a coffee thing, but I LOVE to blame those kind of things on coffee.

        I wish we spawned more people with inherent intelligence, but unfortunately, boredom breeds, and we have more people content in mediocrity than those who are interested in expanding their minds and seeing the world from different perspectives.

        C’est la vie and fuck ’em. I still love your sense of humor, and thank god you aren’t bitter like I am. 🙂

        Like

    • Michelle Dear says:

      Okay. I’m an idiot. I get to be the one that says, “I am a professional editor, and I made a boo-boo.” Can I blame it on a lack of coffee? I know why I made the boo-boo, but I am too embarrassed to say why.

      So, I take back my statement regarding Daniel’s typo. There. I said it. And I never have an issue saying when I am wrong. Why? Because I am wrong a lot more often than I am right.

      Like

      • @Michelle Dear Hehehee no harm done! I’m actually pretty OCD when it comes to checking spelling/grammar before publishing, but I do make plenty of typos/errors that either my girlfriend or others catch – so do feel free to point out whatever mistakes you may find! Thanks to a magic feature called “edit post” I can always rectify any error within seconds.

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  4. KaterinaKlimoszkova says:

    very funny post :o) also taught me one valuable thing: Remember to make the same argument rehearsals like I used to do with my mom before going into fight with you 😀

    Like

  5. RiaMajumdar says:

    OMG!! I couldn’t stop laughing… :D. If this guy (fhskfhsfh…. see even I can make up one) had taken the time to pay attention in english class rather than throwing spit wads at geeky girls (hypothetical of course) then maybe he wouldn’t have sounded like such a big dumbass when he was putting forth a different point of view.

    Like

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