Guest Expressed: “Top 5 Ways to Kill a Zombie”

Today Sean introduces us to some gruesome, yet useful tips for becoming a pro at zombie killing during the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Enter Sean:

The undead have a natural knack for not staying dead. So how do you kill a zombie? Are they every truly “killed”? In most movies and Sci-Fi horror films, zombies do seem to be able to be killed or at least stopped. I would liken it to giving them a final resting place. But whatever you believe there are only a few ways to put down a zombie. Here are the top 5 ways to make sure the dead stay dead

1. Decapitation

This is a favorite among the zombie elite kill squad. Simply drop the zombie in their tracks by shear removal of its head. But beware sometime, just like a chicken; it can still continue running around or in this case biting. Some suitable choice weapons for this are a sword, chainsaw and sometimes a hard bat swing can get the heads rolling!

2. Bashing the Head In

Now this is a bit gruesome, but just as effective as decapitation. The key here is to ensure you don’t get too close while performing this action. Such tools like a baseball bat or those golf clubs you have in your closet would be useful here.

3. Grind Them Up

This is somewhat difficult to do, but this can effectively put a zombie at rest. Some excellent places to do this are meat factories or other places with heavy machinery. The basic idea is to get a zombie into one of the machines there and grind them up till they stop moving. This can be hard to do since you need both heavy machinery and its power source working, which may be a problem if the electric grid is down. If you’re going into a building where the power is out, don’t forget to bring some personalized flashlights you don’t want to get caught in the dark with those brain suckers.

4. Melt Them Away

Dump a zombie in a pit of acid and watch them melt. You could also light them on fire which would be a similar effect or dump them into boiling water. Just make sure with the water that it’s hot enough to melt them and not just give them some nasty boils. If you can find a steel mill, look for some molten hot metal that can be poured onto the zombie or push them into the hot metal pit.

5. Blow the Head Away

It’s a well known fact that if you remove a zombie’s head it will stop. Well at least it’s a good theory – without the head you at least won’t get bit. So grab a shot gun for this one and blow their head off. It’s a sure way to stop them in their tracks and easy enough to do from a distance without the risk of being bit. But make sure to bring some towels as this one can get messy. Stop by a hotel and pick up some of their custom printed towels and have them handy.

Some these methods may seem repulsive, but hey do you want to get bit or keep living to see tomorrow. Just keep these in mind the next time we have a zombie apocalypse. Also, make sure to share these tips with a friend – it could save both of your lives!

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26 thoughts on “Guest Expressed: “Top 5 Ways to Kill a Zombie”

    • NestExpressed says:

      @raeme67 I sincerely do hope you’re able to tell that I’m also sarcastic in my replies…I haven’t taken offence at anything you’ve said 🙂

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 I figured that much since you’ve basically commented on every blog post ;). I appreciate your visits and happy you like the blog!

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed Yes, my goal of becoming an annoying guest blogger is certainly becoming a reality!

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 Well on your way to being an annoying visitor! To be an annoying “guest blogger” you’d have to actually guest post on the blog 😉

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed I concede, but be careful because I just might do that!
        But,being an annoying guest blogger is a great first step.

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed Annoying visitor, then! Still, it is a pretty good first step.
        Be careful, cause I may evolve into a annoying guest blogger.

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed An annoying visitor then! Still, it is a good first step. And there is a good chance of evolving to annoying”guest blogger”.

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 I’d be more than happy to have you as an annoying guest blogger on the site ;). In fact, monkeys and I would be honoured!

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed Why thank you so much and this time I am not being sarcastic. So, the monkey’s finally returned did they?

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 Some of them! A few took the opportunity to escape, as they tend to do. Guess being trained assassins isn’t their first choice…;)

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed Could you not have given them a coffee break once in a while? They had grievances.

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 Well that’s how it starts…a coffee break here, a few hours of sleep there, and then they’re completely out of control!

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      • raeme67 says:

        @raeme67 @NestExpressed Why did I just write monkey’s instead of monkeys? Yes, English is my native tongue.

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed Stupid monkeys! To think I wasted that coffee and banana bread on them! I will never advocate for monkeys again.

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      • NestExpressed says:

        @raeme67 By the way…your last comment on the blog showed up as blank, but I can only assume it was about how I’m an awesome director! 😉

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      • raeme67 says:

        @NestExpressed I thought that I said, ” Keep telling yourself that if it gives you any comfort.” Which, ironically works for both statements

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