I have a confession to make. You may want to sit down for this. What’s that? You’re already sitting down? Well, could you, maybe, get up and sit down again? Just for effect? Great, thanks!
So, here goes: I can’t roller skate.
I’ve never learned how to do it and never really had many occasions or reasons to. I mean, it’s not like it’s an absolutely necessary skill to learn. There are no cities where all commuting occurs exclusively via roller skates. Being an expert roller-skater doesn’t tip the scales significantly in your favour during job interviews. Well, unless the job includes a heavy amount of roller skating, like being a police officer, apparently.
Having said that, I’d like to learn, if only to stop being the laughing stock whenever the subject of roller skating comes up.
Which brings us to yesterday. It was the first proper spring day in Denmark after a long period of hail, cold, wind, rain and other phenomena that generally don’t belong in spring. So my girlfriend took me out and put me on a pair of inline skates that she’d borrowed from a friend. No, I didn’t instantly fall over like Bambi on ice, if that’s what you were expecting. Why would you want to laugh at my pain? Are you some kind of sadist?
However, it did take me a while to acquire a very basic understanding of how to propel myself forward on these wheeled contraptions. I’ll tell you this much – roller skating and walking are two very different means of locomotion. Over the course of a half hour I’ve progressed from “walking on skates” to “sliding awkwardly on skates”. So it would appear there’s still hope for me. I may just learn this roller skating business after all. I’ll make sure to keep you posted, because I know how much my learning progress means to you!
Bonus info: other common activities I haven’t properly learned include skiing, ice-skating and shutting up about activities I’m not good at. How about you? Any stuff you’ve never learned to do? Anything you’re not very good at that you’d like to improve? You did really well on that sitting down task, by the way!