Guest Expressed: “The Posh Guide To Skater-Speak”

In today’s guest post Stephanie will help my sophisticated upper class audience blend in with those wild skater kids. Learning their lingo is half the battle! Enter Stephanie:

In the decades that Skateboarding has been around, it has developed its own subculture and language. If you want to blend in with skater culture, here are a few terms that might help. Although there is no guarantee you’re going to look cool. I’m not a miracle worker.

Noob: not to be confused with ‘newb’ or ‘newbie’. A newb is someone that’s new to something and will learn and get better at it. A noob, also written as ‘n00b’, is especially reserved for someone who thinks they know it all, but has no intention of learning. Also frequently used by computer games players.

Sick: perplexing one this. Somehow, over the last couple of years, ‘sick’ has come to mean that something is really, really good. I know, ridiculous isn’t it? It’s just like in the 80’s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good’. That also was bizarre.

hXc: an abbreviation of ‘Hardcore’, and designated to those into aggressive music and even more aggressive attitudes. I prefer the term ‘ruffian’, but there’s no handy little text-speak symbol for that.

Hawkie: a Hawkie is someone who has become intertwined with the rich tapestry of skateboarding through their abilities in the game Tony Hawks Pro Skater. This seems feasible to me, as the these are easily translatable skills. I can also become a boxing champ because of my skills on the Wii.

Bail: when you’re about to perform a rather outstanding trick on your board, and it goes wrong. Either a bit wrong, or massively wrong, like ending up with an extremity pointing in an unintentional direction. Humorously rhymes with ‘fail’.

Trick stick: Maybe I should’ve mentioned this one first. The ‘trick stick’ is your board. It’s your noble steed, your very own Pegasus. It can take you to unimagined heights and the most terrible of depths. You will be one with your trick stick. Until you save up enough to buy a better one.

Poser: a ‘poser’ is notable for attending skateparks dressed head to toe in the season’s must have designer wear. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still skater clothing, but the couture of skater clothing and shoes. FSAS, DC clothing etc.

Germ: A ‘germ’, like a poser, spends an awful lot of money on all the right gear, but somehow neglects to fork out on the important part. That’s the board, by the way. Believed to be even worse than a poser, simply because of this fact.

Now that I have offered you my impressive skater knowledge, you may now go ahead and attend your local skate park and blend in. I do advise that you remove your monocle before hitting the half pipe.

Good day!

The Alternative Store sell skater clothes like DC clothing

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13 thoughts on “Guest Expressed: “The Posh Guide To Skater-Speak”

  1. So is there a word for a girl like me (okay, not technically a “girl” anymore), who takes up skateboarding in her 30s for the sheer joy of it?

    I own gear necessary for the sport, and I’d consider buying Omit clothing or Glassy shades to support the start-up companies of pro skaters I admire. But I wouldn’t buy a brand just for the brand. My DCs beat the crap out of my feet, so I’m rocking some no-names right now.

    I don’t do skateparks at all – I skate streets and schoolyards close to my house… and I re-purposed some bookshelves so I can learn tricks in my living room.

    I could just be considered a “Bailer” I suppose, given how often I have to pick myself up off the concrete.

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    • Damn, and there I was hoping to change your whole vocabulary through the voice of guest bloggers! I dare you to use at least one of these in context in one of your blog posts 😉

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      • Well, if it makes you feel better, one of my exercise DVDs has a move called the Goofy-Foot, which the instructor admits she got from her skateboarding sons. And let’s just pretend I don’t look goofy doing it.

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  2. raeme67 says:

    Out of touch, out of style, and some say out of my mind.
    I don’t worry about being “sick” because sooner or later “bad” will come back in style and for a few minutes i will be “cool” again. (You can quit laughing,now)

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