3 phases of a dream

I’ve been having pretty vivid dreams lately. Maybe it’s because I watch too many action movies with explosions instead of a plot? In any case, I’m having these detailed dreams where lots of stuff happens.

Then I wake up and remember next to nothing!

Here’s a rough approximation of how my vivid dreams slowly evaporate from my memory.

Phase One – The dream

I’m piloting a giant robot through the ruins of a post-apocalyptic city. My trusty pet elephant – Muko – is flying just above my left shoulder, keeping me company. We are on the way to the Chocolate Factory to warn people that Charlie Sheen was elected President Of Middle Earth and his grasshopper army is gathering just outside the city walls.

When we arrive Muko is fired upon by my girlfriend holding a Super Soaker that shoots lasers for some reason. I’m angry, because she never lets me do anything fun. I explain to her that Muko is my friend and I want to keep him. At this point Muko joins the conversation and, in my brother’s voice, says: “Happy New Year!”

We’re in Ukraine, of course, celebrating the arrival of 2012. Everyone is having a good time, including Muko the python, who is also my brother. At some point I remember that the Romans are outside waiting to hear my answer to their ultimatum. I jump through the 6th-floor window and glide slowly down to the bottom of the volcano. As I land I realise I forgot to wear my Kevlar vest, just as the first of the bullets fired by Agent Smith pierces my chest. I succumb to a barrage of bullets and fall to the ground.

I lie on my back, my vision slowly blurring. The last thing I see is Muko’s face, which is also my face. He leans close to my ear and, in my girlfriend’s voice, whispers:

“Surprise, Muko! It was you all along!”

Instant Bestseller. No doubt about it!

Phase Two – Waking up

I wake up, the epic dream still in my head. Mostly. I can recall there were robots involved and I was fighting elephants armed with Super Soaker lasers. I think my girlfriend and my brother were there too. I was also flying at some point. Many things have happened, it was like ten movies at once. So awesome. Must tell someone about this!

Phase Three – Telling someone

Me: Had a pretty crazy dream tonight, you were in it.
Girlfriend: Oh yeah? What was it about?
Me: Not quite sure, but I think we fed an elephant.
Girlfriend: Yeah…sounds…fun.


Am I the only one with crazy dreams? Do you also forget yours as soon as you open your eyes? What do you think about giant flying elephant robots and their influence on the Middle Earth?

23 thoughts on “3 phases of a dream

  1. I generally seem to remember the dreams that cause me a great deal of stress. The dreams about the women with giant boobs never seem to stick.


  2. I’ve had a bunch of recurring dreams… a lot of them having to do with airplanes.

    I have also found that most of the time when I remember a dream later in the day, I can’t tell if it was from the night before or a year ago.


  3. I think we experienced inception or something because I had that very same dream last night. The only exception was that Muko turned into a dog at one point, flew off into space, and started eating galaxies. Weird coincidence, nevertheless. Hilarious post!


  4. Jimmy says:

    Yes this does sound familiar, I don’t remember my flying elephant talking in your brothers voice though, but yet I really don’t remember it anyway 🙂


    • So the part where he’s a flying elephant who is also my brother who is also me you’re OK with, but the python you couldn’t handle? 😉

      You’re right, food is the root of all evil…or, just, bad dreams


  5. I have some fairly interesting dreams as well. Often I’m performing surgery while knowing full-well that my degree is in psychology. In my dreams, I theorize that I can psycho-babble my way out of a lawsuit if things go wrong. It works in the rest of my life, so why not this too?


    • “Your honour, the patient was clearly distressed about the damage done to his internal organs by this horrible disease. As a certified psychology professional I could not let his brain continue focusing on the negative. Therefore, I have removed all of his internal organs to alleviate the stress. Surely, you can understand!”


  6. I had a very disturbing and vivid dream the other night with a plethora of plot-lines. Um, there was an electrical fixture at my grandparents’ that I had to repair and couldn’t, and there were people lining up for a picture and my ex was there and he was being weird, and there was somewhere I had to go short notice… also my boyfriend was acting completely out of character… I think.

    It was cooler than I remember, I swear! XD


    • Ha…now as exciting and action-packed your dream was, I can’t help note that something crucial was missing….where were the giant robots? Flying elephants?! Lasers?! You have to give us something here!


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