Today we hear from Chris Turberville-Tully, who recaps on some real-life stories of stupid medical tips. Enter Chris:

When you are sick, do you receive unsolicited advice from family members on how to get better? There’s always someone willing to offer suggestions, from well-meaning parents to siblings and grandparents.

It seems everybody has something to say, whether you want to hear it or not, and they always claim to have the best or most correct solution. Sometimes, their advice can be helpful; other times, it is just crazy nonsense. Here are some humorous examples:

Don’t try giving advice to an expert

A mother gave the usual advice about oral hygiene when her adult child developed a cavity: brush teeth, floss regularly, use fluoride and visit the dentist. The problem? The kid is a dental hygienist.

A man instructed his sister on how to hold his newborn daughter. His sister was an ob/gyn nurse with three kids of her own.

Easier Said Than Done

A dad told his kid, who was coughing, to just “stop it.” Yeah, like that’s going to work.

Old Wives’ Tales

A grandmother suggested whiskey for everything…including constipation. So, what’s the whiskey supposed to do, make you forget you are sick? It could make you even worse. And how will you feel in the morning?

Pass the Blame

This is a really stupid one. A mother chewed out her adult daughter when the daughter complained about needing dental work that would cost thousands of dollars. The mother said that she should have consumed more milk and taken more Vitamin C as a kid. The necessary dental work was actually due to the mother’s negligence. She neglected to take her daughter to the dentist for most of her childhood (age 8 to 18). I sure hope stupidity isn’t contagious.

And You Think You Know Me

Then there was a famous burger restaurant that had an outbreak of E. Coli that made a large number of people sick. A concerned mother and father called their son who lived in the area and warned him not to eat at the establishment. The son had been a vegetarian for years. So, where’s the beef in that?

Do as I Don’t

A very obese, alcoholic mother tries to tell her child what not to eat and warns of the negative effects of heavy drinking. Um, does she really expect the child listen to what she says? Her actions sure are screaming something different.

What Did You Say?

A mother’s advice for dry lips: baby oil in the belly button. Is it supposed to work its way to the lips by osmosis or something?  I don’t think that too many people are flexible enough to transfer that baby oil to their lips any other way…well, maybe a contortionist.  Somehow, I don’t think this one’s going to work.

Said the blind man to the deaf dog over the phone

Parents of a deaf child, when having to repeat something (because hearing aids don‘t help 100%): “listen harder, or use your ears.” Um, ok….how do I use them when they don’t work?

You probably have experienced similar entertaining health advice from family.  The next time someone offers you unwanted advice, smile politely and resist the urge to go bang your head against the wall. You might give yourself a headache, and someone will inevitably give you advice for that too.

References: This Reddit thread.

Chris Turberville-Tully works with the International Team For Implantology (ITI) which offers dental implant courses.