eBay Troll: “Magic Slim Pills”

It’s my birthday today! *pause for the standing ovation and rain of confetti, candy and larger presents (who threw those?!) to die down*

So I’ll share a mini-conversation with an eBay peddler of “magic” pills as my birthday gift to you. I don’t know how birthdays work.

Enjoy the bite-sized nonsense while I go attend to my Facebook wall (those birthday wishes aren’t gonna “like” themselves).

This magic is sold here

From: Daniel
To:  Mingjingdang

Hi Mr. Ming Gjing Dang,

I hope you can answer a few questions:

1) Can I expect to resemble the woman pictured on the box with the pills, after taking them?
2) If yes, how soon will this happen?

I thank you for your most honest and timely response,
Thank you!

From: Mingjingdang
To: Daniel  

hehe, the picture just a ad. you can not trust it completely. if you want a slim build I suggest you
go to gym and sport frequently.

From: Daniel
To:  Mingjingdang

Oh, I see. Ha, sorry for the confusion!

Do you happen to know if “Gym And Sport” is also available here on eBay? I assume it’s OK to take both product simultaneously without side effects?

Finally, if I do gym and sport, will I be able to look like the girl on the picture, you think?

From: Mingjingdang
To: Daniel 

Of course you can do it.

From: Daniel
To:  Mingjingdang

That is outstanding! Now I understand the “magic” part of the description.

In your experience, at what stage does the gender transformation begin? Will I first develop breasts or lose my penis. I’m asking because if the breasts come first I’ll have a very “awkward-looking” stage for a while.

Thanks again!

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14 thoughts on “eBay Troll: “Magic Slim Pills”

  1. These posts of yours are like the new millennium version of Candid Camera. I wish I were as brave as you and could get up the nerve to contact the suppliers of these ridiculous product claims. I guess I’ll have to continue to experience the joy by proxy through reading your posts.

    Happy Birthday, by the way! I have my own coming up in a few days, but I try not to think about it.

    Like

  2. Happy birthday! And you can’t blame it all on starting with man parts. I’m female, and there isn’t enough magic on the planet to make me look like that. But hope never dies, and pills still sell! 🙂

    Like

  3. raeme67 says:

    Have a very Happy Birthday! I’m not sure you should take those pills, have you thought about how your girlfriend might feel about your …..ah..being transformed like that?

    Like

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