Have you ever had a bad date? Have you wished you could say something to get out of it easily? Today’s guest, Linda Forshaw, has a few recipes. Enter Linda:
First dates are scary at the best of times. If you’re unlucky enough to find yourself sitting opposite someone whose face you’d rather use as target practice than smooch, they’re infinitely worse. Forget climbing out of the bathroom window. Just throw one of these gems out there and let your bad date climb out of the window instead.
5. “I’m still in love with my ex, but I’m trying to move forward if only to take my mind off the urge to call him every hour. Can you hang on a minute while I see if they have texted me in the last five minutes”.
Um, yeah, no one really wants to be the rebound partner. Tell your date that they’re second best or gush about how handsome/gorgeous your ex was and watch as they squirm in their seat looking for an escape route. This works even better if you add – “the only reason I picked this restaurant is because I thought my ex might be here”.
4. “How do you fancy the Central Park Boathouse as a wedding venue?”
Weddings, like exes and how many children you might have in the future, are no-mans land for a first date, but that’s only if you actually want the date to continue. When you want rid sharpish, weddings venue, exes, and children are all fair game.
3. “Hold still, I’m just going to take your picture.”
This is an awesome way to make someone feel super uncomfortable. It works even better if you imply that you’re going to put their picture on your wall or by your bedside (so you can look at them for ever and ever and ever….). The mere suggestion that their picture is destined to be shared on that dating blog you own will also work a charm.
2. “You know what, I think I’ll ask my mom/dad/hulk of a brother to join us. They’re sitting in the car right outside.”
Yeah, unless you’re under the age of ten, bringing your mom to your date is going to send any sane person running for the hills. The only way this one won’t work out for you is if your date is actually insane. In which case, the bathroom window is probably your best option after all.
1. “So, I Googled you and saw that picture of you with that guy/girl. Who’s that then? Should I be worried?” (Best said at the exact moment you pick up your knife).
Stalk much? Most people will Google a date before they meet up. It’s a sure fire way of finding out if someone has been convicted of some heinous sex crime in the past. If you want your date to continue, then it’s best to keep schtum. On the other hand, if you can’t wait for your date to end, go right ahead and fess up to being a cyber stalker.
Linda Forshaw hails from Liverpool in the UK where she splits her time being looking after her daughter and fending off bad dates. A contributor to Degree Jungle, she is a full time writer and blogger specializing in education, social media, entrepreneurship (and dating). Contact her on Twitter @seelindaplay
11 thoughts on “Guest Expressed: “5 ways to end a bad date””
Thanks for the giggles! 😀
Yeah thanks to Linda, good stuff! Haven’t heard from you in a while, hope all’s well!
Thanks for your comments! I’ll look forward to the day when I can write about a good date 🙂
We all look forward to you writing about a good date too, you’re funny! Thanks for the article and have a great weekend.
Hey I’m a single mummy (mommy from your neck of the woods) – all offers considered (nearly) 😉
Very funny… needed the humor today!
Heya, glad you liked it, I agree – Linda’s a funny lady! 😀
I’ve been married so long, I don’t have a history of bad dates. Well, unless you count the edible kind. Nothing worse than bad dates in baked goods.
I hear you, had a couple before marriage that should have ended earlier than they did! Funny post, though!
True, true, Linda’s got some jokes!
Uuuhm, Delicious dates! Well, I’m more of a banana/watermelon guy, but dates are good enuff!