Outstanding Coffee Deal, or OCD

We’ve had an espresso machine at home for a long time now. Not just any machine – a really fancy, semi-pro machine. It can not only make espressos from freshly-ground coffee beans, ย but heat up and froth milk too.

It can probably also call in air-strikes and give your dog a haircut, but I haven’t read the manual, so I don’t know for sure.

We’ve always been very happy with the machine. We still are.

Then we went to Prague and I learned that both Katka’s mom and her sister have simple coffee-capsule machines. These can prepare coffee directly from a capsule in under one minute and require less setup and cleanup time.

The coffee snob in me was like: “Pffft, what is this cheap excuse for a coffee machine?! This doesn’t even begin to compare to the marvel of engineering that we have at home! How pitiful!”

But…

The lazy slob in me was like: “Holy crap, a decent cup of coffee in under a minute? And all I have to do is press one button? I don’t even have to go through the back-breaking ordeal of grinding coffee beans and moving a cup of milk up and down in order to froth it? Sold! Shut up and take my money!”

So, to make a long story short, the very next day after getting back to Denmark, we went on a parlous quest to a nearby store and got ourselves a Dolce Gusto machine. We also bought a perfectly moderate amount of different coffee capsules that was not excessive in any way…is what I would be saying if my insane OCD didn’t kick in.

My OCD kicked in, of course, and was like “No freaking way, Daniel! We can get at least twenty different types of capsules for this machine?! Fuck it, let’s just get all of them right the hell now. You only live once, so let’s OD on caffeine already today!”

Thanks to my OCD I am now able to bring you this picture:

Dolce Gusto Bonanza

Above: a completely not-at-all-crazy amount of coffee.

Each of those boxes contains 16 coffee capsules, so, if you do some quick math, you’ll see that we now have all of the coffee, ever.

On that note, I shall now leave you all to go get married and stuff. When you hear from me again next week I’ll be “Mr. Gniazdo“, which, now that I think about it, I always have been anyway.

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31 thoughts on “Outstanding Coffee Deal, or OCD

  1. The amount of coffee seems totally reasonable to me, but perhaps I’m not the right person to ask. ๐Ÿ™‚ My math went something like… 16 pods, each pod is a cup, a pot of coffee is 12 cups, so each box is a day and a half, perhaps. Plus, the husband would probably want some coffee too… so… a week. That’s a week of coffee. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. It’s a pity Australia is so far away if I’d be over to your place in ten minutes flat and taste-testing it all! Congratulations on your nuptials, Nest! My sister married her Dane in Denmark about 15 years ago and it was lovely to see them wed in a church far older than western settlement in my country…

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    • And you’d have plenty of capsules to choose from!

      Oh nice, are they still living in Denmark these days?

      And no worries – what you lack in old buildings you make up for in wildlife that will murder a human in under 5 seconds!

      Thanks a lot, it will be an awesome day, for sure.

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      • No! The cold wet was too much for my Aussie sister after 5 years, so they’ve back here now – a BIG bonus for me because I get to see my nephew regularly. It’s nice because they both got to live in each other’s countries before settling Down Under. & yes, the wildlife and the beaches here are AWESOME. I could live elsewhere but wouldn’t enjoy it as nearly much. Happy Wedding Day!

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      • Ha, very true!

        We were in Australia for 5 weeks earlier this year and did a big run from Sydney to Cairns, back down to Melbourne and then Sydney again. Was awesome.

        Good you have your family nearby then!

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  3. Can I get a cup of coffee?
    Thanks for the great laugh! I love the photo of all the different coffees and completely relate to just giving in and buying it all.
    I gotta say I’m jealous of your espresso machine too. Jeff doesn’t drink coffee (I know, he’s some kind of freak) and I have been banned from making it at home. (It had something to do with a little ulcer I developed from drinking too much coffee. Who knew there was an actual limit?) Anyway, I’ll just have to be comforted by the knowledge that you and Katka can drink coffee every hour of every day.
    Now then- go get married and all that stuff! Yeah!!!!
    And I look forward to future blogs on the marriage ceremony….

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    • No coffee for you! The coffee is mine, all mine! *insert evil laugh here*

      Damn, ulcer from coffee? Sounds pretty extreme, hope you’re recovered now. I’ve never been a big coffee drinker, but all these fancy coffee machines have converted me!

      Hell yeah – marriage and all that! See ya on the flip side!

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  4. “letโ€™s just get all of them right the hell now”—Oh, I know that feeling. Luckily, I can usually restrain myself. Unlike you, apparently. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Best wishes for your wedding! I hope you get a chance to enjoy the day despite the hectic-ness. And if you can make it through that receiving line of endless handshakes and smiles, then you can survive anything!

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    • That’s right, my lack of self-control is only comparable to the extent of my OCD!

      Thanks, I’m sure we’ll survive somehow and there’ll be lots of shenanigans of all sorts!

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  5. Does your fiancรฉe know about your OCD? I suggest you keep it quiet until after she’s said, “I do.”

    With regards to coffee, I’m an instant man myself – says a lot about my culinary tastes (as well as my sexual performance!)

    Have a great wedding day, Daniel.

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  6. “Sorry folks, but we’re out of coffee. One guy on the other side of the world has it all, now. Place your orders along with $23.99 shipping/handling and we’ll have it to you within the next 2-4 weeks.”

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