We’ve had an espresso machine at home for a long time now. Not just any machine – a really fancy, semi-pro machine. It can not only make espressos from freshly-ground coffee beans, but heat up and froth milk too.
It can probably also call in air-strikes and give your dog a haircut, but I haven’t read the manual, so I don’t know for sure.
We’ve always been very happy with the machine. We still are.
Then we went to Prague and I learned that both Katka’s mom and her sister have simple coffee-capsule machines. These can prepare coffee directly from a capsule in under one minute and require less setup and cleanup time.
The coffee snob in me was like: “Pffft, what is this cheap excuse for a coffee machine?! This doesn’t even begin to compare to the marvel of engineering that we have at home! How pitiful!”
The lazy slob in me was like: “Holy crap, a decent cup of coffee in under a minute? And all I have to do is press one button? I don’t even have to go through the back-breaking ordeal of grinding coffee beans and moving a cup of milk up and down in order to froth it? Sold! Shut up and take my money!”
So, to make a long story short, the very next day after getting back to Denmark, we went on a parlous quest to a nearby store and got ourselves a Dolce Gusto machine. We also bought a perfectly moderate amount of different coffee capsules that was not excessive in any way…is what I would be saying if my insane OCD didn’t kick in.
My OCD kicked in, of course, and was like “No freaking way, Daniel! We can get at least twenty different types of capsules for this machine?! Fuck it, let’s just get all of them right the hell now. You only live once, so let’s OD on caffeine already today!”
Thanks to my OCD I am now able to bring you this picture:
Each of those boxes contains 16 coffee capsules, so, if you do some quick math, you’ll see that we now have all of the coffee, ever.
On that note, I shall now leave you all to go get married and stuff. When you hear from me again next week I’ll be “Mr. Gniazdo“, which, now that I think about it, I always have been anyway.