Hint: it’s not a Triceratops.
First, Triceratops are way too large to fit on a finger. Second, they’ve been extinct for at least a couple of years or so. Know your history, reader!
Did you guess it yet?
Correct: it’s a ring. One ring to rule them all.
Or, in this case, one ring to rule one man, am I right? Marriage humour. Ha-ha. Good times.
As you have gathered from that long-winded and entirely unnecessary intro, I am now officially married.
Correction: I have actually been legally married for over one-and-a-half months now, since June 29th. Due to a set of circumstances that I will not bore you with, we have found it necessary to get married in Denmark, in the Copenhagen Town Hall.
We’ve kept it secret until the big day on August 10th, so as to keep the ceremony special. So, yes, we lied to our friends, family and, most importantly, we lied to you, dear reader. There is nothing I can do to make it up to you, which is convenient, because “nothing” is exactly what I feel like doing about it.
We had a fantastic wedding. The weather was perfect, the people were amazing, there was a surprisingly low number of mutated aliens trying to chase down and chew our guests. Everything went exactly as planned, which is 95% due to the awesome planning by my girlfriend-wife-fiancée. The day wouldn’t have been the same without her, which is a statement that falls solidly into the “duh” category.
Enough talk, let’s see some pictures. Here we are:
OK, I confess. I tricked you. That’s not us in the picture. That’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They’re supposedly some sort of celebrities in the US. Have you heard of them?
We have a ton of pictures to sort through, including some upcoming incredible ones from the professional photographer. I may share those at a later stage. Edit 16-08-2013: here are the ones from the photographer.
For now, here’s a collage made by a friend (if you’re on Instagram you can follow her, right here)
Check out that cake, yo! That’s a typewriter on it. Edible typewriter. It has all the proper keys with letters and everything. Katka’s father and stepmom made it as a tribute to my writing passion. There’s also a nest with birds in it, because Nest. Holy shit, how simultaneously insane and great is that? Very. The answer is “very”.
After the main wedding shenanigans were over a handful of the most committed guests went to our newlyweds suite. If you want to form an entirely incorrect impression of us as a well-adjusted and calm group of people, here’s a perfectly misleading picture:
To retain that impression, stop reading right now.
You’re still reading, aren’t you? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Here’s a video made by my best man, the same guy who made that perfectly innocent picture above and the guy behind my kidnapping. I share it with you because Harlem Shake is still so relevant and topical, and because I never tire of traumatising my readers:
Your life was so much better one minute ago. You only have yourself to blame.
Oh, and within 5 minutes of our coming back Django gave us a welcome gift in the form of peeing on my wedding suit. You gotta love cats.
On that cheerful note I leave you to go wash your eyes with soap and search for a good hypnotist that is capable of erasing memories.
I’ll be back with the regularly scheduled Nest Expressed program soonish.