Email Troll: “Reign Of Dogs”

Just a few weeks after my post about liars trying to get links, I was contacted by yet another “content marketer”. From this point on, the word “content marketer” is interchangeable with “spammer.”

Apparently my blog is a shining beacon of light in the fashion industry, because this marketer figured my audience would be ecstatic to hear from his fancy dress company.

Yet again the marketer lied about having read and enjoyed my posts. Yet again I responded with a reference to a non-existent post. Yet again the marketer lied about having read that fake post. These guys must have attended the same “Bullshit 101” course in late October.

Here’s the correspondence:

 

Sam:

Hello,

My name is Sam and i am currently working on behalf of a fancy dress company called [EDITED OUT].

I have spent some time on your site this afternoon and really like the posts that you have written or had written and published on your blog. Following this i was wondering if you would be interested in receiving and publishing an article written on or around the subject of christmas costumes? I feel this would be highly relevant and good viewing for your fellow bloggers.

I hope this would be of interest to you and any feedback or suggestions on this to make the article appeal to you would be appreciated. I look forward to your response.

Kind Regards,

Sam

 

Daniel:

Hi Sam,

Exciting. Is it my “Dog Kimono” post that got you to write me? That post took quite a bit of research and two weeks living among dogs!

Daniel

 

Sam:

Hello Daniel,

Yes that was the post, i found the article very interesting.

I was wondering if you accept guest posts?

Kind Regards,

Sam

 

Daniel:

Hi Sam,

That’s so cool. The crazy thing about dogs is that they have at least eleven different barks for “danger” and seventeen barks for “nap time.” Did you know that?

I accept many things, but I accept our future overlords—dogs—above all!

How about you, Sam?

Daniel

 

Sadly, Sam never wrote back. I’m not sure if it’s because he found out I was on to him, or because he’s now frantically preparing for the impending dog apocalypse. I hope it’s the latter.

From now on I think I’ll start answering content marketers with a link to the “Want Links? Make an effort!” post and leave it at that.

Until then…woof woof!

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12 thoughts on “Email Troll: “Reign Of Dogs”

  1. Kianwi says:

    Did he really say ‘fancy dress’ company? Hysterical. I just can’t believe you missed the chance to highlight their Christmas cosutmes, though! What do you suppose they were? Elf dresses? Reindeer suits? I’m so curious now!

    Like

  2. Want links? Make an effort. Exactly!
    You know, I counted 16 bark styles for nap time but clearly I missed one.
    I have discovered there is only one bark for snack time… it translates to “NOW”!

    Jeff engages telemarketers in much the same way that you do spammers. Maybe the desire to prove a point while having some fun is a genetic predisposition? Probably not. Just thinking out loud.

    Like

    • Yeah dogs are tricky like that. They don’t want us to discover all of their secret communication.

      I like the way Jeff thinks. If you’re going to waste time with telemarketers, why not make sure you have a bit of fun in the process?

      Like

  3. Aelish says:

    No dummy! It was your Fart Wear post that got his attention, of course. They go great under the fancy dresses – and you know those fancy dress party throwers NEVER learn about how you shouldn’t serve all that wine & cheese to a large group of people in a stuffy, unventilated room.

    Poor guy probably got confused because dogs can be so gassy and OBVIOUSLY you’d have to do research among dogs to write your post on fart panties.

    Like

    • Ha. See, now that’s some impressive detective work right there. I should write back to Sam and apologize for misunderstanding his legitimate concerns about dog fats. Or…something.

      Like

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