I am a proud owner of not one, not two, but…no wait, “two” was correct…two cats.
As a cat owner you quickly discover what a huge hassle it is to find out whether your cat is purring. Sure, it seems like all you need is a pair of functioning ears, but reality isn’t always that simple. What if your cat is a quiet purrer? What if you’re listening to Britney’s new album in your headphones? How will you know if your cat is purring then?
Also, you can typically tell if the cat’s purring by touching it. The problem with that is you have to, you know, touch it. Yuck. I didn’t buy two cats to make physical contact with them. They’re here to be trained in the deadly art of cat-Jitsu and to memorize the faces of my sworn enemies. There’s no place for cuddling in their lives.
So what does a busy cat-warrior-trainer need in order to identify those rare purring moments? Look no further than the “Purr Detector” collar:
With a simple and nifty electrical device that you strap directly onto your cat’s neck, you can tell when it’s purring by simply staring at the flashing lights. As a bonus, this collar doubles as a mobile Christmas decoration for your house. As a bonus-bonus, your cat will either get gradually used to bright lights shining in its face or get driven hopelessly mad by the incessant light show. Either way, you’ll have a more dangerous cat-warrior at your disposal.
Is the above product a hoax? Possibly. Do I care? Not one bit. If I don’t get my hands on a purr-detection collar one way or another, my life will never be complete. I’m also sad that it didn’t make my original list of crazy cat gadgets, but better late than never, I guess.