Email Troll: “Tanks of South Africa”

You know that I’m no stranger to trolling spammers, scammers, and other unpleasant residents of cyberspace.

I have published a lot of my correspondence with such characters before.

Here comes another one. A certain scamming lady with a hilarious name Amina Gogo needed my help and was willing to pay me 15.5 million dollars for it. Below is our correspondence.

(As always, you can skim most of her emails—it’s standard scam template stuff.)

Side note: Why do all scammers insist on using the word “modality” and its derivatives? Is there some “Scamming 101” book that highlights it as a magic hypnotic word or something? I need to know!

Amina:

Good day,

I am quite sure that this mail will surprise you since we did not know each other before. But I searched & got your e-mail contact through Google.com for formal Introduction, I am Ms.Amina Gogo, Formal Protocol officer to late Mo’tassim Gaddafi.

My reason of contacting you is because I am looking for a Trustworthy person that I can present to the bank as the owner/ beneficiary of US$15.5M fix deposit in one of the Banks in Southern Africa. This was made during one of our trips last 2years to Southern African countries.

Reply if you can and more details will be giving to you on how the claim of this fund will be done in your name.Kindly reply via below email: msaminagogo9@gmail.com

Regards
Ms.Amina Gogo

Me:

Ms. Amina,

I am willing to help with the beneficiary of a bank person’s owner of 15.5M for formal protocol.

Please tell me what I can do!

Daniel

Amina:

Dear Daniel Nest

I want to Thank you for taken time to read my letter, meanwhile I have to use this opportunity to tell you how it can be done and to assure you that this transaction that we are about to go into is 100% legitimate and risk free. So there is nothing for you to worry about.

Please note that I will prefer we keep email communication at this stage, for the security of myself and my three kids, because we are still hidden to avoid face reprisal by some NTC loyalist.

For the benefit of this transaction, I will like you to note that the source of this fund was money assigned to me during the uprising in Libya, to travel to one of the Southern African country to negotiate and purchase (Arms) for the suppression of the upraising and civil war during that time. On that mission, I managed to divert part of the fund and fixed it in one of the local bank there. I told the bank that the fund belongs to a Business Partner who asked me to fix the fund on a fixed deposit account for one year.

The reason why I am soliciting for your assistance is because the bank sent me a notice, when the 1yrs elapsed, asking me to provide my Business Partner and again this week another reminder was sent to me that they are expecting my business Partner or next of kin for the claiming of the fixed amount, I was informed that the 2013 financial audit returns order stated clearly that failure to have such funds claimed, after years deadline, fund will be revoke or declared as profit after tax to the Bank or paid into the government treasury.

It was due to this dramatic turn of event that I decide to contact you, as to present you to the bank as my business partner / beneficiary to the fixed deposit.

To enable us facilitate this transaction, I will request you to send to me the following information stated bellow

Your full name:
Address:
Phone/fax no:
Country of origin:
Age:
Sex:
Occupation:
Nationality

With the above information, I will use it to file application/letter of Indemnity to the bank informing them that my business partner will be contacting them, to claim on my behalf the Fix Deposit. As soon as I hear back from you, more details will be given to you.

Note: for your help, you will have 35% of the total fund, While 60% for me and 5% will be use for the expenses that may be incurred in the process.

Finally, I want to guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate frame work that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Your urgent response will be appreciated.

Regards
Amina Gogo.

Me:

Ms. Amina!

I didn’t really understand much of your letter, but it was enough that it’s all 100% legitimate and risk free. I like those words!

I once had my face reprised by some 3TPCD loyalists, too, so I know what it feels like, apart from the fact that I don’t. I will help in any way I can.

When exactly do you expect me to be in South Africa?! Shall I bring my own arms or will these be provided directly upon arrival? At the moment I only have an old Super Soaker, but with proper upgrades it can be turned into a pretty effective makeshift flamethrower.

I await your orders.

Daniel over and out!

Amina:

Dear Mr..Daniel,

I have a banker there in South Africa who assisted me at the time I deposited the fund and he will still be of good help in this transaction.

I also want you to know that the banker will be in a very good position to detail you on the procedures to follow to receive this fund in my favor. I also guarantee you that this is safe and it will be done in a legitimate frame work. All you need to do is to work with the banker.

Your urgent reply will enable me connect you with the Banker so that both of you can go into direct communication and work out all the required modalities.

Yours truly,

Mrs. Amina Gogo

Me:

Dear Amina,

Perfect! I have already fashioned a sort of tank out of a Nerf gun and a tricycle I’ve borrowed from my neighbours’ three-year-old daughter, and which I don’t have to return until next Friday. I’m all set!

Will you provide a steamship ticket to South Africa, or will I have to swim there on my own? I don’t want to sound negative, but if it’s the latter I may need around a week to get there (I’m guessing South Africa is at least as far from here as Budapest).

All modalities are ready and all systems go, as they say in Star Wars.

Let’s rock this house!

Daniel

Amina:

Dear Sir

I received your mail. Kindly feel free to contact the banker with the below details he will tell you all the procedures regard the claim of the funds,

Foreign Operation Department
Bidvest Bank
Mr. Gavin Kumar

Sir, always keep me posted in all your communications with him.

I wait to hear from you.

Regards,
Amina

Me (to Gavin):

Hi Gavin,

Amina said you’re the man to sponsor my coup in South Africa. How do we proceed?

Daniel

Amina:

Dear Daniel Nest

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail for voluntarily trying to be of assistance in this transaction. But before getting to exited on this whole transaction now, I will as a matter of cautiousness request that you give me a brief explanation of who you are, what you do for a living and most importantly, your direct phone number. This will help the banker to be in a direct communication with you and to ascertain our business relationship.

Your urgent response to this mail will be highly appreciated and we shall take it further from here. Please be informed that this fund in question is all that I have now and I have to be very careful on who I am dealing with to avoid running into a wrong hand.

On receipt of your response and with the few things needed from you, we shall give you more details on how we are going to get this transaction done on your arrival to Johannesburg. I would like to know from you if you have contacted the banker kindly keep me posted.

Sincerely,
Amina

Me:

Miss Amina?

I am confused. I was writing to Gavin. Did you hack into this conversation to steal our rightful money? I am getting a bit suspicious of this whole operation, and I am even reconsidering lending my excellent pottery skills to it.

Daniel

Amina stopped writing after this. I guess I caught her red-handed in an attempt to prevent my conquest of Africa. Good riddance!

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12 thoughts on “Email Troll: “Tanks of South Africa”

  1. Most excellent! I love you technique! Can I send all annoying emails and stupid calls to YOU?

    I once had a very snooty, snotty insistent woman from a medical office explain that she could ONLY speak to the person who had the operation in question…about an outstanding BILL…(Which was paid in full PRIOR to the procedure, as is the policy of the medical center we used)….

    But this woman was rude, and INSISTED she could only speak to the ‘patient”, even after interrupting me several times to explain WHY that wasn’t possible…I gave up….

    …..and handed the phone to my six year old very yappy son, who is highly intelligent and has an impressive vocabulary. After listening to her via other phone attempt to make my son “give the phone back to your mommy” fro well over five minutes, she hung up and called back after ten minutes,VERY angry this time, SCREAMING, wanting to know why I didn’t explain “things”….

    I told her I had tried to explain multiple times, but her rude cutting me off and DEMANDING she speak to ONLY the patient pretty much forced my hand to give her exactly what she asked for…..and that had she looked, she would have seen on the claim right in front of her nose:

    “Six year old child, emergency tonsillectomy, adenoid removal and ear tube insertion surgery by pediatric specialist PAID IN FULL.”

    Like

  2. raeme67 says:

    Just when you had all your weapons ready! What a let down! Don’t worry, though, there will be plenty more opportunities. Whoever said, “Opportunity knocks only once” never met up with these jokers.

    Like

  3. I’m amazed by how persistent they are, responding to your emails when it’s clear you’re mocking them. Can you imagine someone really supplying their personal information like that? So scary that some people might fall for it. By the way, supersoaker– loved that!

    Like

    • I don’t even think they read most of these emails…they just have a copy-paste script that they use regardless of my answer is. Or maybe they thought I’m speaking some advanced code-language?

      Super soakers are no joke. They can be deadly!

      Like

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