We now have Christmas lights on our street!
Well, “Christmas lights.” They look like this:
I’m not kidding, by the way. That’s the Christmas setup on our street here in Copenhagen.
Look, I’m really not one to judge. My idea of getting into the Christmas spirit involves changing my desktop background to a picture of semi-nude Santa riding a baby blue unicorn. (Don’t ask.) I’m pretty damn terrible at decorating for Christmas, is what I’m saying.
But…do these Christmas lights strike you as satisfactory? Do they elicit feelings of joy and wonder? Not really, right?
I don’t want to speculate on the decision process that led to this half-baked display of indifference, but I’m quite sure it went something like this:
“So, how will we decorate the street for Christmas this year? Giant Christmas tree with a life-size Santa and lots of flashing Christmas lights and ornaments?!”
“Nah, we’ll put some lights on the trees.”
“Oooooh, great idea! We’ll cover every branch with string lights, so that at night it looks like each tree is glowing!”
“Nah, just, like, two lights per tree.”
“Uh, okay. So, big, flashing lights in the shape of a star or Rudolph’s nose?”
“Just two simple, purple lights. We’re going for more of a ‘landing strip at a deserted airport’ vibe.”
“Fine, I guess. So, two lights per tree, and–”
“Make it every third or fourth tree. Let’s not get carried away now.”
“I just…man…okay. Is there any chance we don’t have to make them look like unfeeling, unblinking Eyes of Sauron?
“No? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Whatever you say, Grinch, you’re the boss.”