If you landed on this page, you probably want to know more about Nest Expressed. Else you’re clicking wrong buttons.
Well, hi there. I’m Nest. I express myself on this blog. I know, very clever!
My goal is to make you laugh. Failing that, to make you smile. Failing that, to cry profusely in an attempt to make you stay. I am an ambitious guy.
Who the fuck is Nest?
That’s a natural question to ask if you don’t already know me and have Tourette’s. You, of course, don’t want to hear my whole life story when you ask this question. But too late, here it is:
I was born and grew up in Ukraine, when the country was still a part of the Soviet Union. Growing up under this oppressive regime wasn’t easy. We were subjected to truly unspeakable horrors, like having to wear matching uniforms that had stars with young Lenin’s face on them. Also, we sometimes had to stand in perfectly straight lines and sing patriotic songs. Traumatic stuff.
At the age of 15 I had to seek escape from the madness. That’s how I ended up in Denmark: a country that was 10 times smaller than Ukraine, had crappier weather and an absurdly high tax rate. On the upside, Lenin’s face was no longer haunting me on a daily basis.
Denmark is where I learned to speak proper English and with-a-bad-accent Danish. Now I use those powers to give outlet to random shit on this very blog.
“Spine-rippingly funny! Just hilarious. His every word is instant comedy gold!
But enough about George W. Bush, you wanted to ask me about some Nest guy?”
– Andy Rooney (world’s number 1 authority on comedy)
“Nest Expressed is better than make sexy time with gypsy harem…NOT!”
“Beep bop beep beep bop bop beep! Beep!”
“If laughter is the best medicine, then Nest is saving more lives than the polio vaccine. What do you mean I can’t review my own stuff? How else will people know I’m awesome? Screw you, this interview is over!”
I would like nothing more than for you to share my blog with the world.
In return, all I ask is that you give me money and smuggled antiques. Alternatively, I just want to make sure you link back to me and give me credit. So that’s why there’s this “Creative Commons” license stuff in the footer:
Nest Expressed by Daniel Nest is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
I know, right?! “Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License”?! Who talks like that?
Basically, what it means is:
- Feel free to share my stuff
- Feel free to “remix” it. Say you want to have a dancing monkey in cowboy boots sing parts of my blog on YouTube. Do it! Also, seek help, you freaking weirdo.
- Make sure you let people know where the material came from. Do you really want some crap I’ve said to come back to haunt you?!
- Don’t do any of the above for profit
- If you pass it on to others to share further, they have to follow the above rules as well
So, with all of that said—go browse my blog and have fun!
If you have suggestions for a topic I could write about, leave a comment on my posts or contact me via the aptly named “Contact” page.
Note: “Your blog sucks, and you should swallow a fork!” is not a good topic suggestion. It’s difficult to write about, and it’s hardly original—I get dozens of those on a daily basis.