Today Darren sings us a belated Christmas Carol, the way it should have been sung at the end of 2011. Enter Darren:

With all due respect to old English who supposedly wrote the Christmas Carol, let’s get real and admit that we no longer care about milking maids and leaping lords.  Just tell us what’s going on with our favorite stars, and we can sleep with sugar plums dancing in our heads.  So here’s what’s really important, sung to the tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas:

 

On the first day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the second day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the third day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the fifth day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the sixth day of Christmas, I read on AOL:

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the seventh day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the eighth day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Charlie Sheen is a mess

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the ninth day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Bieber likes girls

Charlie Sheen is a mess

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Swartz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the tenth day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Lohan works at morgue

Bieber likes girls

Charlie Sheen is a mess

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Swartz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Stodden’s boob job

Lohan works at morgue

Bieber likes girls

Charlie Sheen is a mess

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Swartz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas I read on AOL:

Madonna at Bowl

Stodden’s boob job

Lohan works at morgue

Bieber likes girls

Charlie Sheen is a mess

Alec Baldwin is a jerk

Trump will be prez

Lohan’s in Playboy 

Snookie smells nice

Brangela shops at Schwarz

Kim Kardashian’s divorce

And Lindsey Lohan was arrested once more

 

You can never really believe everything you read online. You can, however, find out the truth by using a background check. Not only can you find out about your ex but you can also find celebrity info as well.