Have you always wanted to turn your breath into food? Are you dying to eat some delicious algae? Looking for a way to combine those two activities into one?

Now you can!

For a low low price of who-even-fucking-cares you too can start converting your very own CO2 into edible algae that you wear directly on your head.

All with a simple, stylish, discreet algae helmet that is guaranteed to turn heads and make you the star of any fancy cocktail party. Behold:

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The concept is as ingenious as it is not-at-all-the-stuff-of-your-nightmares: you breathe into the tubes, tiny algae in the tubes eats your CO2, then you eat the algae. Yum! Everybody wins, except the algae. Algae very much loses.

And don’t worry, it’s not actually called “Algae Helmet”. That would be ridiculous. No, it’s called “Algaculture Symbiosis Suit”, because fuck it!

So what are you waiting for?

Order your algae helmet today and start looking like an alien attack victim already tomorrow!