Guess Who’s Back?

No, it’s not Elvis Presley. He’s dead, remember? Ooooor, is he?

Anyways, it’s just me.

Hope it’s not a let-down after I’ve gotten your hopes up with the whole Elvis thing!

My girlfriend and have returned from the fun-yet-hectic family trip. We have slept in eight different places in four different cities during the past two weeks and are now patiently waiting for this incredible achievement to be entered into the Guinness World Records.

We’ve had our good share of drinking, minor injuries and other fun things. We’ve met a bunch of interesting characters. One of them was a girl of around six. Whenever she misspoke she would perform a “system reset” by closing her eyes, shaking her head side to side and saying “oi-oi-oi” in rapid succession. Another one was a guy who complained about amateur guitar players always choosing to play depressing songs. I’m not sure I’ve noticed this trend, but then again, my attention span is…wait, where was I?

What does this have to do with anything?!

In my home town of Kharkov we’ve come across this classically “Engrish” sign for the Children’s Railroad:

To put in two ends comes true free of charge!

In a tiny town of Mestecko in Czech Republic we’ve come across this simple and straightforward road sign:

It’s like two drunk guys arguing while giving you directions…

All in all it’s been great, but I wish it lasted longer. That’s what she said.

Also during the holiday I’ve gotten a pleasant surprise. Remember the “Pulling The Plug” piece I’ve submitted to DudeWrite’s flash fiction contest? Well, it’s been picked as the winner by 2 out of 3 judges, as well as getting the most popular votes, along with another great story from Chiz-Chat. You can read more details and the judges’ comments at DudeWrite, in case you want to, like, read more details…and the judges’ comments.

But enough about me, let’s talk about a few other humourists for a moment.

Another awesome surprise was Martin Bannon sending me a signed copy of his recently released Senseless Confidential. It was waiting for me in the mailbox yesterday when I arrived. I have won Martin’s “leave a comment, win a book” competition. At this rate I think I should start playing the lottery. That’ll teach me to make stupid decisions like playing the lottery! I haven’t started reading the book, but knowing Martin and judging from the great reviews it’s been getting I’m already excited to check it out.

Also I have finally started on Martin Little, Resurrected by Ella Medler. I must shamefully confess that I’ve only gotten through the first two chapters for now. However, it’s already clear that it will be a fun read! Though hey, don’t listen to me, check out the reviews for yourself.

Finally, I will have a special guest on the blog this Wednesday. His name is Scott Bartlett and he’s doing a blog tour for his book Royal Flush, which is also collecting great reviews. So you’ve got that to look forward to now!

How about all of you? Have you had any vacation? How has your life been without my posts in it for a whopping two weeks? Same? Slightly not the same at all? Kind of the same, yet also different?

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I’m back!

Cue the music. Stop what you’re doing. Unless what you’re doing is reading this post. In which case, carry on!

I’m back in business after almost three weeks of working long hours. My estimate is that I’ve been working 12/7 with only one day off since 16th of April, excluding 2 hours of commute per day. Yesterday was my last long work day. Also yesterday, through a magical combination of Murphy’s law and shitty timing my girlfriend left to Czech Republic for ten days.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining, but in reality that’s exactly what I’m doing…and that concludes the “poor me” part of this otherwise cheerful post.

Today is a day off, because Denmark is celebrating the Great Prayer Day. I have also celebrated this holy day by sleeping for 12 hours straight.  We are at our least sinful when we sleep, so that was really the only respectful thing to do.

I am currently continuing the celebration by treating myself to a fancy take-out meal. Fun fact, “fancy take-out meal” is a textbook example of an oxymoron.

Now that I’m well-rested, well fed and all alone for ten days I can get back to writing more words and sentences for you to read. I expect one such collection of words to make it your way as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned and stand strong!