Red Head Doll With Blue Bow

Email Troll: “Dolls R Us”

So another one of those wonderful content marketers contacted me two days ago.

She obviously did her research. By that I mean she typed the word “doll” into her browser and stumbled blindly into my famous “10 Dolls To Haunt Your Children’s Dreams” post.

Her email read:

Hi – How are you?

I was at your website today and found this blog:

I work for a company called [Company Name – Redacted]. We are building the best place to go on the internet to find and buy items for avid collectors.

We would love to feature your blog on our Dolls Facebook page with over 20,700 fans. In return we would like to have a link to our [Company Site] on your blog.

We think that your blog offers great content and something our Dolls fans would love reading about. We also think that the readers of your blog would enjoy seeing some of the great Dolls items in [Company Site]. Let me know if you are interested and I’ll send over our logo and link, then we’ll schedule a time to post about you on our FB page.

[Lady’s Name]
[Company Name]

You may know my blog as many things, but I doubt you view it as a doll-friendly place. Sure, I have previously written about dolls. However, all of my doll posts have dealt exclusively with how mind-warpingly creepy they are.

I made my opinion about such spammy content marketing requests abundantly clear. Nevertheless, I am a kind and compassionate soul. So, of course, I responded to the woman:

Hi [Name],

I am delighted that you have recognised my blog for the ultimate doll resource it is. I strive every day to provide curated, informative, and unbiased doll content.

As such, I have rather strict guidelines when it comes to accepting other doll sites. But you seem trustworthy.

To help me make a decision, may I please ask:

1) How often are your dolls exorcised? Hopefully at least once a month, you know how they get otherwise!

2) Are any of them prone to bouts of anti-human aggression? If so, have there been injuries?

3) When I say “The spirit of Lucifer inhabits this one,” you say…?

Looking forward to your honest reply.

Doll guru and tamer,

Bafflingly, I am yet to hear back from her. I hope those dolls didn’t hurt her, or something. Time will tell.