Blue Passenger Plane

I’m leaving on a jet plane…

…don’t know when I’ll be back again.

Except I do.

I’ll be back in ten days.

Way to ruin the suspense.

My fiancée and I are leaving to Prague on a mini vacation, otherwise known as “taking care of all the last-minute ceremony preparations and other practical stuff.” Doomsday is drawing closer and closer. Wait a second. My sponsors are telling me it’s called a “wedding,” not a “doomsday”. Ooops, silly me!

Our bags are packed, our tickets are printed, our cats are locked safely inside a cage where they will spend the next ten days without food or water. Wait a second. My sponsors are telling me that proposal was overruled. Something about “animal cruelty” and “moral decency” and blablablah. The cats will stay with our friends. Correction—our friends will stay with our cats, at our place. Yes, our cats get their very own stay-in babysitters. Spoiled brats. The cats, not the babysitters.

What does all of this mean for you? A number of things:

  • Absence of my life-affirming and happiness-producing blog posts
  • Absence of my life-affirming and happiness-producing comments on your blog posts
  • Good weather with clear skies and warm temperatures in your area. Probably. Can’t guarantee this one.
  • Free chicken nuggets for everyone! Wait a second. My sponsors are telling me that’s crazy. God I hate having sponsors.

So until next time, friends, take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Especially your loved ones. You never know when you’ll need an interest-free loan or a kidney transplant.

Happy holidays!

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V for Vendetta, B for Bieber

So yesterday my girlfriend and I watched a Czech movie called Vendeta (which is an obscure Czech word for “vendetta”, to be sure).

It’s a dark and confusing tale of a man on a revenge spree. The movie contained a lot of inexplicable plot points, tons of footage of people running through forests and characters dying simply due to being tied to trees.

The movie requires a smarter man than me to fully understand. However, it wasn’t the plot or cinematography of the film that intrigued me the most. Throughout the whole movie my mind was busy asking one simple question…

“Baby, baby, baaaaby ooooh…..”

…what the fuck is Justin Bieber doing in a Czech revenge movie?! Sure, credits claim it’s some Ondrej Havel dude, but you and I both know a Justin Bieber when we see one, don’t we?! It’s not just me, is it? Please tell me it’s not just me seeing Justin there!