Brown Bear Face

10 new ways the world can be “deeply concerned”

Throughout the Ukraine–Russia conflict, many countries and leaders have spoken out against Putin’s aggression. US, EU, and others have employed the full range of powerful diplomatic and economic tools at their disposal, from sanctioning a few people to sanctioning a few dozen people.

And yet, during all this time, they have only managed to express their emotions in a very limited way. They started out with “deeply concerned,” which later culminated into…well, “deeply concerned”:

February 28: Obama Remarks: ‘Deeply Concerned’ by Reports of Russian Moves in Ukraine

March 20: U.N. chief Ban tells Putin he is ‘deeply concerned’ over Ukraine

April 15: Turkey ‘deeply concerned’ over events in Ukraine

May 31: UN deeply concerned about incidents with OSCE monitors in east Ukraine

June 14: OSCE Chairperson-in-Office deeply concerned about today’s escalation of tension in Ukraine

Now look. I don’t mean to be hating on the phrase “deeply concerned”. I like “deeply concerned” as much as the next guy (that bastard). It’s a perfectly fine way to express concern that is deep in nature. It’s short and to the point. It’s everything a phrase should be when one wants to communicate a deep level of concern about something.

Having said that, wouldn’t you want to change it up a bit? Huh, world? Isn’t the English language rich enough to produce something other than “deeply concerned”? I think so. So, as an amateur writer and a professional worrier, allow me to offer a few useful alternative ways to express your feelings:

10. The US is somberly shaking its metaphorical head over events in Eastern Ukraine

9. Yesterday Prime Minister of Japan summed up his feelings with a haiku:

“Much loss in Ukraine,
Melancholy overflows,
I fight the anguish.”

8. Canada calls the situation in Ukraine “utter kerfuffle”

7. Multiple monocles are missing after the UK parliament collectively gasped at Ukrainian developments

6. UN calls the recent crisis in Ukraine “moderately tear-jerking”

5. Following news from Ukraine, EU give their level of worry a “9 out of 10 ”

4. When it comes to Ukraine, OSCE are not happy, not very happy at all

3. China likens Ukraine to a depressed panda lost in the wild

2. When asked about Ukraine, Angela Merkel let out a prolonged, meaningful, and tragic sigh

1. David Cameron on Ukraine: “Shite!”