Blue Eyeball

WTF Report: “Tuna Eye”

There’s nothing better than a relaxing dinner on a late Friday.

You open a bottle of white wine, light a few candles, put on some calm background music and dig into a delicious tuna eye.

Wait, what was that last part again? Tuna eye? Is that code for something? Is that the name of a strange children’s game? Is it Popeye’s eccentric cousin who always smells of fish?

Clearly we can’t literally be talking about a tuna eyeball, right? Right?!

OK, so we’re literally talking about a tuna eyeball.

Yup, what to most of us is an eerie disembodied entity that occasionally appears in our nightmares, to some is a nice juicy snack.

But let’s not get too judgemental yet. Sometimes a dish sounds horrifying on paper, but when you see it, it’s actually not that…

…OK let’s get judgemental.

If you stretch your imagination, they almost look like mushrooms, if mushrooms were made out of unspeakable horror and screams of agony.

Look at them! They’re just ominously lying there, staring at you, judging you.

If I know my audience, a good chunk of you are now wondering whether there’s a home recipe for this awesome (awful?) tuna eye dish.

Good news, you goddamn creeps, there is. Now get away from me.

I especially like this part of the intro to the recipe:

“…tuna eye should not be eaten raw and needs to be lightly cooked.

Thanks for that unnecessary qualifier, psycho chef, but you had me at “tuna eye should not be eaten”.

Different kinds of warm

So, we have a canteen at work. Every day it serves different warm dishes in addition to the main one.

Normally they have a pretty good idea as to what they’re serving and announce it accordingly.

Last Friday, however, they seem to have looked at whatever they’ve cooked and said “fuck it, it’s some kind of food, we’re not committing to anything”.

Because this is what the sign next to the dish said:

I’m actually more into “various kinds of hot” myself