Yellow Duckling

WTF Report: “More animals are like…”

I know, I know. It’s a cheap shot. Using animals to pad your blog posts? How original.

But as the famous Internet saying goes, “When in doubt—cute animals!”

So here are a few more videos that have animals in them.

Recipe: Take 5 ducklings and 1 yo-yo. Add motion. Enjoy.

The following video, in addition to being objectively entertaining, also teaches us an important lesson about determination: Never give up, keep going, even if you’re facing an immobile statue that refuses to engage with you in any way. Miracles do happen. (Not in this case, though.)

Whoever came up with this next video is both a comedic genius and willing to tiptoe along the edges of the “animal cruelty” border. I’m not sure whether forcing kittens to ever-so-gently smash into each other in slow motion qualifies as cruelty. What I do know is that this amuses me more than it probably should.

That’s it for me. I will be back with further, more word-filled posts in the near future.

Blue Balloon Dog

WTF Report: “Balloon Dog”

Think of what you could do with $58,4 million. You could turn your whole life around. You could buy houses made of chocolate for your whole family. Then you could build yourself a chocolate fighter jet and fill its cargo space with chocolate bars.

What? If you’re not spending your money on chocolate, you’re throwing it out of the window.

Or…you could spend all of that money to become the owner of a single balloon dog.

To clarify: I don’t mean a regular dog made of balloons. That would just be silly and a total waste of money. No, I’m talking about a massive freaking 12-foot metal sculpture of a balloon dog. Look at it and tell me it’s not worth the $58,4 million:

I know. It’s practically a steal. That thing is worth at least $58,5 million, by my latest estimates.

I think this is yet another example that convinces me I just don’t get art. It also makes me question my career choices up to this point. Apparently, all one needs to get rich is to visit the circus and then build a giant replica of whatever Chippy The Clown made in front of the audience.

I’m not knocking Jeff Koons—the artist behind this creation. If I could sell stainless steel sculptures of giant faceless dogs, I’d do it too. It guess I just never stop being surprised by the seemingly inflated value of most art. To quote Jeff Koons himself:

“The Balloon Dog is materialism and monumentality. In many ways it is like the Trojan horse.”

Yes, Mr. Koons, yes it is. It’s exactly like the Trojan horse…in that it’s full of tiny Greek men that will ambush the dog buyer’s bank account and murder his ability to ever feel whole again. That analogy got away from me.

If any of you are upset that you’ve missed out on this bargain, don’t fret—there are four more of these dogs out there. Go get them!