Saturdays are usually the days I do random stupid things to keep myself entertained. This makes them a lot like all other days.

Today’s randomness is inspired by Carrie Rubin’s post where she shared her husband’s rhyming haikus with us. I refuse to generate original blog topics, so I decided to come up with some haikus of my own.

Haikus are a form of short poetry in Japan. Here’s a detailed Wiki article on haikus. If your attention to detail is as good as mine, all you got from that is that haikus usually have 17 syllables, which are structured in a 5-7-5 pattern. Best of all: no rhyming necessary!

Below I have tried to repackage age-old wisdom from popular proverbs into catchy haiku form. As a special bonus, all comments on this post will be answered with haikus. Yes, my goal is to make sure you hate me when this is all over.

1.

“There are times you win

There are also times you lose”

– Captain Obvious

2.

If you get a horse

Stop staring into its mouth

You freaking pervert!

3.

Keep your friends nearby

Enemies even more so…

…easier to stab.

4.

One single picture

Equals to a thousand words

Be a writer – paint.

5.

Every road you take

Apparently leads to Rome.

Poor infrastructure.

6.

If you stay silent

They say it’s a lot like gold

Shut up and get rich!

7.

Some claim that money

Is making our world go round.

Did they learn Physics?

8.

Never judge a book

By looking at its cover

Screw your lies, Kindle!

9.

Water’s density

Is lower than that of blood

Scientific fact.

10.

He who talks too much

Mostly speaks utter nonsense.

Hippopotamus!