Have you heard the big news? Renee Zellweger has a new face!

Seemingly overnight, Renee Zellweger went from looking like this:

D’AAAAAAAAAW!

To looking like this:

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I know! First Ukraine, then ISIS, then Ebola, now this?! What is the world coming to?

Understandably, there’s been a lot of confusion as to what Renee Zellweger’s new face means for the universe, the history of nations, our society as a whole, and, most importantly, each of us personally.

While the media has bravely tackled such important issues as what specific surgery she must have had, exactly how does Renee Zellweger’s new face compare to the old one, and generally what the fuck, nobody has addressed the crucial question: What does it all mean for you, dear reader?

Because I care, I have hereby compiled a helpful guide that you can use to find out what Rene Zellweger’s new face means for you and your loved ones:

1. Are you a Renee Zellweger look-alike who imitates her for a living and has no other source of income?

If yes: You may need to update your act to focus on how Zellweger looked before.

If no: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

2. Are you a plastic surgeon specializing in facial aesthetics?

If yes: You may be able to draw some valuable lessons by observing Zellweger’s transition.

If no: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

3. Do you like Renee Zellweger?

If yes: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

If no: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

4. Are you considering plastic surgery?

If yes: Your decision may be somewhat affected one way or another by Zellweger’s new look.

If no: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

5. Are you Renee Zellweger’s face?

If yes: Congratulations on your new look!

If no: Renee Zellweger is a grown woman. What she does with her body is her decision and has no impact on your life.

There, I hope that helped!