You know about my love/hate relationship with Google, right? I’ve written a guest post about it a while ago.

You also know about my hate/hate relationship with Putin. I’ve written post after post after post on the subject.

So then I thought: “Why not combine my two hobbies?”

That’s how I decided to give Google the opportunity to tell us all what he thinks of Putin. Why should I be the only one sharing my opinions? I set out to use Google’s autocomplete feature to paint a thorough picture of who Putin is and what he should do. It turns out that, as with many other things, Google is extremely conflicted on the subject of Putin. What I found out is that Putin is:

Who wants:

Yet he won’t:

Because he doesn’t:

That’s why he has:

Which is why he needs:

So there you have it: Putin is a homosexual evil thug, who wants Alaska back to restore the Soviet Union. He will go to war, because he has no respect for Obama and won’t even shake his hand. He needs to be stopped, but he doesn’t care since he doesn’t drink and has balls. Which is why he’s right but has already lost and will eventually die. That’s…surprisingly accurate? I don’t know anymore, you be the judge.