Red Creepy Santa

WTF Report: “AAAAAAAAAH All The Way”

The holidays are upon us. It’s time for people to exchange gifts, eat lots of unhealthy food, and for Fox News to dial up their yearly “War On Christmas” paranoia.

If there’s one thing everyone unanimously loves about Christmas, it’s hearing the same few beloved songs play on repeat for months on end. Seriously, radio stations, please play more Christmas songs—it’s never too much.

And then there are those for whom traditional songs just don’t cut it. These people find creative ways to “spice up” the old classics. I like to think that the following exchange took place between the creators of the song I’m about to share:

“How about a ‘Jingle Bells’ remix, where–”

“Sold! Love it!”

“Wait, I didn’t finish. So it’s a ‘Jingle Bells’ remix, but instead of words–”

“Excellent! Let’s do it!”

“Just…just hold on, okay? Instead of words, it’s—wait for it—literally just laughing. All the way. Laughing. All. The. Way.”

“Hysterical! Make it happen!”

And make it happen they did, here:

What starts out as an innocent laugh attack, soon transforms into a nonstop, surreal audio diary of Santa’s mind unraveling in real time. There is no way that one and a half solid minutes of incessant laughter are a sign of a healthy psyche. This Santa is clearly suffering from severe PTSD, manifesting itself in unnatural, eerie guffaws.

I don’t know about you, but if this particular Santa showed up at my doorstep, I’d be calling the cops and trying to frantically recall exorcism spells. Thanks, but no thanks, Santa—you goddamn lunatic.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Have fun with your families and share a laugh or two…but never three, for that way lies madness.

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