Rubiks Cube Scrambled

Logic For Dummies

Before I dive into the post I just want to announce that the laugh-out-loud-funny Valerie and her famed airborne platypus army have bestowed a new blog award upon me. Feast your eyes on this baby:

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

They see me writin’, they haaaatin’

Those of you who know me will know that I’m known for not knowing how to play by the blog award rules and for writing horrible run-on sentences, so I may or may not pass this award on to 15 other bloggers at some point in a distant future.

I will say, however, that Valerie’s blog is well worth your visit if you ever need a laugh or seventeen. Now, onward.

We just purchased a 22-inch LCD monitor, so that my fiancee can work from home some days. Her laptop screen simply isn’t big enough to accommodate all those graphs, numbers and pictures of our future cats.

Today the monitor arrived, accompanied by an utterly useless instruction leaflet that shows how to attach it to the base.

Look, I’ve had my occasional lapses of logic previously, so I may not be one to talk.

However, I sincerely hope nobody out there actually requires an instruction like this:

LCD Monitor Base Assembly Instructions

Step 1: Use brain. Step 2: DERP! Step 3: Success

Really? Was this necessary? Come on, this instruction doesn’t tell us anything beyond what could be summed up in a sentence: “Attach the base to the monitor”. Nobody needs a three-step visual diagram for the easiest two-piece jigsaw puzzle in existence.

There is only one detail of the above assembly process that may, hypothetically, cause some people issues: knowing which exact recess of the base the monitor fits into. Notice how the instruction leaflet does nothing to address that. Instead, it patronisingly tells us what we must already know.

Wait a second. This actually gives me an idea! Here, enjoy my special Spaghetti Bolognese recipe:

Spaghetti Bolognese Recipe Simplified

Simple and delicious!

Have you come across similarly useless instructions? Instructions that were too complicated to understand? Wrong instructions? Instructions that defy logic? IKEA instructions, which can be all of the above?