moustache

Remember, remember, a month called “Movember”

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In late October I have enlightened you all about the cancer-fighting month of Movember. This was the first year I participated in this worldwide phenomenon. I don’t know whether I will continue abusing my poor face in this manner on a yearly basis, but considering my capacity for making poor decisions there’s a good chance I might.

All in all, it’s been a fun month, as depressing as it was to see myself gradually turn into a one-tenth werewolf. I want to recap on some of the observations and learnings that my participation in Movember has brought about. These are:

My colleagues and friends don’t hate me as much as I expected.

Despite hearing a few half-hearted jokes about my new look, most reactions have been overwhelmingly positive. People understood that I was doing this for a good cause. Even though my facial hair startled and scared them daily they have put on their brave faces and offered words of support and encouragement.

So my thanks go out to everyone who suffered with me through these tough and hairy times. A special thanks to my girlfriend who had not only resigned herself to the cruel fate, but also actively photo-documented the disaster that was my moustachioed face.

There are a total of about four moustache-related references out there.

Having acquired a visible moustache half way into Movember I braced myself for all sorts of jokes about my look. I discovered, with a degree of disappointment, that there aren’t “all sorts of jokes” about moustaches. There are more like “four sorts of jokes”. I’ve heard a few Borat references, two Tom Sellecks, one Burt Reynolds and about ten times I have been compared to the dudes from Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage”.

Although I gotta admit, I probably looked like all three of these guys

This scarcity of moustache humour is either due to a very limited number of famous moustache-wearing celebrities, or basic human instinct to repress images of hairy-faced men. Either way, the tenth time someone mentioned “Sabotage” I took out a boom-box, put on the song, cranked the volume to the max, grabbed a gun and started chasing the person around the office while yelling “I can’t stand it, I know you planned it!”. Well, I didn’t actually do any of that, but now I think of it as a missed opportunity.

Some people are quitters

In my first post about Movember I have mentioned a colleague that essentially single-handedly pressured me into participating. His arguments were convincing, the “it’s for charity” guilt-trip strategy was effective and his apparent commitment to the cause was admirable. I said “alright, oh great Movember messiah, lead the way and I shall follow!”. And lead the way he did…

…for about two weeks. One day he came into the office and I couldn’t help but notice that something about his moustache was off. Namely, his moustache was off! Not wanting to rely on my deceiving eyes, I had to solicit a verbal confirmation of this clearly impossible turn of events. I turned to my colleague and very politely said the following:

“Top of the morning to you, good sir! Now, have I and my trusty eyes gone insane, or is the amount of hair on your face insufficient to be qualified as a moustache?”.

What I certainly did not say was “what the fuck, dude?!”, but you may hear witness accounts that claim otherwise. My colleague admitted to having shaved off his moustache, but he really had one hell of a good excuse: he discovered that a moustaches itches, which I think we can all agree is the kind of torture no man should go through, Movember or not. Also, his girlfriend didn’t like the way it looked, a revelation that shocked absolutely no one.

“Wait a second, so what you’re saying is this ISN’T a turn on?!”

And thus, in a cruel twist, my former Movember idol has crashed and burned only half way through the month. If this should teach us anything at all it’s that we cannot rely on others to always lead the way. Also, “what the fuck, dude”?!

People are more than willing to support a good cause

Over the course of the month I have been posting updated pictures of my face to Facebook, which is quite possibly the most “on the nose” use of Facebook. I did this to see exactly how many people I could get to “unfriend” me in the course of one month, but also to encourage donations to the fight against prostate cancer.

All I can say is…it worked! In the course of one month my face has collected over 2,000 DKK (or 400 “real money”, as American visitors will undoubtedly refer to it). Colleagues, friends, secret admirers and creepy stalkers have all chipped in. It’s great to discover that so many people are willing to support a good cause when given the chance.

I am incredibly thankful to everyone who donated! You have all made a difference in the fight against prostate cancer. Even more importantly, you made me feel better about having mutilated my face for one whole month…

____________

A few days ago Katka has spent some time on photoshopping my face onto various backgrounds of remote places.  This means she had to tolerate the evolution of my hideous moustache twice – once in real life and once again in the many photos she had to look through and edit. This sort of dedication is truly commendable. Well done, Mo Sista! Thank you!

Today I chained these photoshopped pictures of my world-travelling face together into a short video collage.

Before you watch it, SPOILER ALERT: My face will haunt you in your nightmares! Enjoy!

Movember Me

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In a distant past (like one year ago) I started hearing hushed rumours about something called Movember. Then I noticed a few of my friends on Facebook posting Movember-related status updates and pictures of their moustaches. I figured they were in some sort of secret upper-lip-hair-fetishist cult. I also figured they kinda sucked at the whole “secret” thing, what with Facebook posts and all. That was the end of it. Until yesterday.

Yesterday the talk of Movember started yet again, this time at work. A colleague of mine is apparently well-versed in all things Movember and will be joining the Movember movement this year. By the way, the name “Movember” is an incredibly clever portmanteau of “November” and “Moustache” (it’s mind-boggling, really).

So, what is this mysterious yet so-very-catchy-sounding happening all about? Well, in short, it’s this: men around the globe shave their faces right before November 1st and then let their moustaches grow up until November 30th. They do so for a number of reasons:

All the cool guys do it!

  • Growing a moustache is universally considered manly, sexy and irresistible. This applies if you’re living in the 1970s and/or are a member of the aforementioned and non-existent (I pray) upper-lip-hair-fetishist cult.
  • It gives men ample opportunity to compete for the title of “The Best Tom Selleck Clone”.
  • Movember helps raise awareness of and encourage donations for fighting men’s health issues, particularly prostate cancer.

As you may have guessed, only one of the above reasons is actually true and it’s pretty easy to discern which one it is (hint: Tom Selleck). You can read more about the cause on the official website or (you knew this was coming) on Wikipedia. Just one day ago I knew almost nothing about Movember and had absolutely no intention of participating. However, after some pressure from the colleague I’ve done a bit of research and put some thought into the matter. Here are the “for” and “against” points I could think of on such short notice.

FOR:

  • Noble cause. Prostate cancer is no joke (seriously, try it at a party). If a small area of my face can serve as a temporary banner for a good cause, why shouldn’t I try it? Although I do draw a line where some people don’t.
  • Curiosity. I’ve never had a moustache before. Some part of me really wants to find out how it would look like. The same part also thinks that a Zombie apocalypse could be freaking cool.
  • Narcissism. It’s bound to be a conversation topic when people see me with a different look. Why not enjoy the extra attention? This is my chance to finally stand out from the rest of the male crowd! Hmmm…the very same crowd that is quite likely to also be supporting Movember…doh!
AGAINST:
  • It’s a freaking moustache! No matter how hard I try I just can’t imagine myself with a moustache. Sure, many others can pull it off quite well, but me? This is how my very awesome facial hair is arranged today:

I know, it’s awesome!

If I go by Movember rules I’ll have to lose the goatee and to let the uber-well-trimmed upper-lip part grow into a bushy mess. Who knows what the end result will be? Do you? If you do, please contact me immediately to spare us all the gruesome aftermath!

  • No facial hair to begin with. I haven’t had a clean-shaven face for almost ten years. The Movember rules dictate that you start on November 1st with no facial hair at all, to even out the playing field for all participants. So this means I’ll have to finally get a clean shave and discover what’s lurking beneath all of that hair. Who knows what that may be? Do you? If you do, please contact me immediately to spare us all the gruesome discovery!
  • Subject of ridicule. Nothing encourages snide remarks and “friendly jabs” like a sudden change to one’s look. In my case the remarks are likely to begin with variations of “what’s with the baby face” (November 1st) and end with something like “nice moustache, Borat” (November 30th).

Just as I was weighing the pros and cons of this decision I got involved in a Facebook conversation with two colleagues, who were now working in unison to convince me to join. About twenty seconds of this peer pressure did what hours of contemplation couldn’t. Peer pressure has powers, man!

And thus, after an unreasonably short period of consideration, as is the case with all of my worst life decision, I am joining the Movember cause. I now have a profile, or a so-called “Mospace” (as we’ve already learned the Movember crowd are masters of puns), and it can be found here: http://mobro.co/Nest. If you feel like spreading the word or even supporting the cause financially (you big spender!), I’ll be most grateful (but prostate cancer won’t be).

Keep your eyes open for more Movember-related posts and updates during the month of…*sigh*…Movember. Until then there’s nothing “mo” to say (looks like this corny word play stuff is contagious).