Reactions: Facebook likes lying in a pile

Facebook unveils “reactions” to simplify not talking to friends

Facebook announced a revolutionary feature that will finally let people express feelings with the least amount of effort possible.

Reactions improve on “Likes”

This scenario should be familiar to all: Your friend posts a status about their loved one getting injured in a freak curling accident or about their cat’s premature demise at the hands of a misplaced cucumber. You can’t click “Like” on a status like that. What do you do? Today, Facebook offers literally no other option to deal with such situations.

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News Headline Newspaper

You won’t believe what these headlines just did…

Have you been watching the headlines lately? The ones that pop up everywhere online, from Facebook to whatever other sites there are apart from Facebook? Have you noticed a trend? Hint: These headlines don’t really tell you anything about the story they’re promoting.

Back in the day, a headline would typically sum up the gist of the story. For example:

Man, 38, loses eyebrows in a fireworks accident.

Now, that’s not a fancy headline by any stretch of the imagination. It won’t be winning any awards for artistic expression. But it provides the main details about this particular eyebrow-singeing event. There was a man, there were fireworks, there was some sort of an accident, now there are no longer any eyebrows on the man in question.

You can grasp the point of the story from that headline and move on to the next one. Or you can choose to read the story to find out whether, say, alcohol was involved (spoiler alert: there’s always alcohol involved).

Today’s headlines, however, are not there to help you easily skim the latest news. Instead, they have one single purpose: to make you click. Like so:

This drunk dad decides to experiment with dangerous fireworks and then this happens…

That’s not a headline. That’s a pilot episode of a new thriller series. It ends on a cliffhanger, forcing us to click to discover the ending. These click-bait headlines are only there to, uh, bait…for clicks. They’re not aiming to inform, they just want you to visit the site to read more. “Then why do we keep seeing these desperate cries for clicks?” you may wonder. Because they work, you nincompoop! Sorry. I just wanted to use “nincompoop” in a sentence at least once in my life. You’re probably not a nincompoop. Not that I know of.

In the increasingly saturated media space, I can’t really blame these headlines for wanting to stand out from the rest. In fact, as a service to the news community, I have taken it upon myself to rewrite 7 recent world news headlines in order to increase their click-bait appeal. That’s the kind of selfless and generous guy I am.

1. Turkey secures release of hostages held by Islamic State

Islamic State held their people against their will, but Turkey went on to do the impossible. Wow.

2. Alex Salmond resigns as first minister after Scotland rejects independence

Scotland’s vote didn’t go the way this minister hoped. Watch what he does next!

3. Russian planes intercepted near U.S., Canadian airspace

Russian planes make a daring foray into North American airspace, with shocking results [VIDEO]

4. New Zealand’s National party secures third term, Labour concedes

New Zealand politics aren’t always this predictable, but these election results are truly incredible…

5. Kiev, rebels agree to extra measures to ensure Ukraine cease-fire

Have Kiev and rebels been able to reach a compromise? The answer may surprise you!

6. Obama to send 3,000 troops to West Africa as Ebola crisis worsens

You won’t trust your eyes when you see what Obama did about the Ebola outbreak.

7. Security stepped up at Vatican over fears of terror attack

Watch what the Vatican does when terrorist threat increases. I especially love the last sentence. It’s so touching.

Guest Expressed: “Something Phunny is Going on in Phoenix; Weird News”

“Deserts are fun!” is not a typical thought that crosses our minds. Today’s guest, Meg Jones, begs to differ.

She’ll share some curious and amusing stories about Phoenix (plus a few others). Enter Meg:

Ever read a bit of news that is just a little too hard to believe? While mainstream media is usually supposed to carry legitimate news, there are those stories that cause just about anyone to scratch his head and wonder, “Did I accidentally pick up the National Enquirer?”

Enjoy a few slightly weird bits of news collected here, and you just might agree that there is something “phunny” going on in Phoenix, and a few other places.

License: Creative Commons (image source)

Phoenix Phall Phunfest

Here’s a great and weird activity the locals enjoy participating in.

You’ve Got Earthquakes, Phoenix

1,000 to be exact. Arizona State University researchers revealed results from three years of seismographic study, showing that the state of Arizona experienced the tremors of earthquakes almost 1,000 times in just three years: 2006 to 2009. If you wonder why these earthquakes did not make the news, it is because of their micro-sized strength. Arizona was previously thought to experience only very infrequent earthquakes, but this latest information, published in August 2012, has researchers exploring the causes and possibilities of this unexpectedly large number of earthquakes.  But this is just baby stuff.  It gets stranger.

Strange Sounds in the Sky over Arizona

This has been happening all over.   Here is happens on a cloudless night.

Babies on Beer

It is amazing what parents will do these days. In July, 2012, a mother in Phoenix was arrested for giving her 2-year-old child beer in a sippy cup. Did she really think that would be good for the baby? One has to wonder if people just lack sense to know better anymore or if they simply do not care. According to the report, the 36-year-old mother was at a pizza restaurant and gave the child beer after the child kept reaching for the pitcher.

Weed in the Mail

Some people in Arizona are just a bit weird in their mailing habits. A woman in Michigan was surprised when a package turned up in her mailbox containing two pounds of marijuana (3). The return address was from Arizona. Was the package sent to the wrong address or was the designated recipient supposed to find it in the mailbox before the elderly woman went to check her mail? Regardless, whoever the intended recipient was certainly missed out as the police took possession of the weed with intention to destroy it.

Gun for a Ring

Straying a little from Arizona, because we can and think it’s phun, a strange tale is to be found in North Liberty, Iowa, where a local jeweler is offering a free rifle to men who purchase an engagement ring costing at least $1,999. And while it may sound like the jeweler is promoting domestic violence, Harold van Beek actually says it is intended to help out the guys who would rather be hunting for deer rather than diamonds.

Grown-Up Paper Airplanes

Back in Arizona you will find the tale of the world’s largest paper airplane, and how it actually took flight. The paper aircraft, measuring 45-feet long and weighing in at 800 pounds was part of a museum paper airplane contest. The original plane was designed by a 12-year-old boy who won the Pima Air & Space Museum’s contest. Engineers were set to work to build the larger craft off of the boy’s design. On March 21, 2012, the plane took flight for a few brief moments after being carried aloft by a helicopter.

A Lady in the Window

This is what happens when you’ve been in the desert sun too long.  Or are too lonely.  This mannequin has found life, love, family, and adventure.  An adoption of sorts has taken place with the lady often seen in the window, who has been involved in nearly everything a real human would.  You might consider dropping by and giving her a visit.

The Phoenix Bat Cave

Enter if you dare.  From April to November, if you are in for some freaky fun, head over to 40th Street and Camelback.  Every evening at dusk, the bats come out to play.  Mexican Freetail Bats begin to exit the dark recesses of batdome and set out for feeding on all sorts of desert delicacies.

Deserts are never boring.  You just have to know where to look for some interesting phun.

Meg Jones writes for a Mesa Locksmith in AZ, Phoenix Lock Master. She enjoys sharing about the desert areas of Arizona and the interesting things that are often missed by people unfamiliar with the region.