Microphone With Cord Black

WTF Report: “You’re a racist when…”

Question: What does it take to become a judge on Holland’s Got Talent?

You probably answered: “You have to be a good judge of character, have a broad appreciation of musical and artistic talents, and be up-to-date with popular trends.”

Congratulations: You’re wrong!¬†Turns out that sometimes it’s enough for you to simply be a stereotypical racist.

Let’s play a game. Watch the first 30 seconds or so of this video:

What were you initial thoughts? Probably something about the singer’s impressive voice and his strong audition.

See, that’s because you’re not¬†Cornelis Willem Heuckeroth—one of the three judges. Throughout this entire performance, the only persistent thought in Cornelis’s head was: “Wow, that guy is Asian, can you believe it? A real-life Asian person on stage!”

Take a look at this video of outtakes, where Cornelis cannot stop himself from vomiting out a stream of racist jokes:

Not one word out of his mouth is about Xiao Wang’s singing. They’re all unfiltered outbursts you’d expect to hear from your xenophobic uncle, whom you only reluctantly see during family gatherings.

“Which number are you singing? Number 39, with rice?”

“Honestly, this is the best Chinese I’ve had in weeks, and it’s not a takeaway.”

It’s like Cornelis is hooked up to Google Translate, with settings permanently stuck on “Dutch-to-Racist.” If he were a book character, the author would receive a note from the editor to make him more realistic.

I take solace in the fact that most members of the audience seem to be decidedly booing Cornelis’s attempts at being funny. The rest of them laugh awkwardly, because people don’t always know how to react when confronted by a walking racist caricature.

Congrats, Cornelis, you win the “Racist Of The Month” award.