Microphone Golden

WTF Report: “Putin Jam”

Until a few months ago, I knew very little about Putin. Yes, he was Russia’s president. Yes, he sometimes made lassos out of pythons to hunt tigers with. That was essentially the full extent of my knowledge.

Recently, with all the wonderful happenings in Ukraine, I started reading a lot more about Mr. Putin.

That’s how I came across the following video gem, in which Putin demonstrates his English skills in an attempt to address the International Exhibitions Bureau:

This video evokes a curious bouquet of feelings. It manages to simultaneously be awkward, hilarious, and deeply terrifying.

On the one hand, Putin looks like a shy kid during his first ever English oral exam—tugging nervously at his sleeves, struggling to find a confident stance, eyes darting across the teleprompter to keep up with the strained flow of speech. It’s objectively amusing.

On the other hand, Putin’s are the eyes of a cold-blooded madman. His jaw barely moves as he squeezes out the words. He has nothing but utter contempt for being forced into this uncomfortable position.

All I’m saying is, I hope the cameraman wasn’t foolish enough to make any jokes about Putin’s performance. If he did, may he rest in peace. In fact, I wouldn’t recommend you to openly joke about Putin either. You never know when the KGB is listening. They could be behind you right n…