I was on Twitter the other day, trolling people and looking for life-affirming quotes from Buddha to share with my followers.

I was minding my own business and stalking celebrities, when I suddenly noticed a tweet directed at me.

The tweet read:

I can’t adequately describe the number of things wrong with that tweet, but I’m going to try.

The tweet is a perfect jumble of first-time introduction, useless information and a passive-aggressive threat.

So, you’ve followed me on Twitter at some point. That’s great, because I’m always happy to get followers that are interested in the blog and my occasional tweets. Now you’re “cleaning” your Twitter and unfollowing people you don’t want to follow. That is also great. I have done a major clean-up myself earlier this year, and encourage everyone to do the same.

Stupid question: Why tell me about it? If my tweets aren’t for you, just unfollow me quietly. It’s a single click away.

Make no mistake: the above tweet was sent with a single purpose—a blatant and almost-desperate attempt to blackmail me into following a person I didn’t even know. If you’re only following me in the expectation that I’ll return the favour—don’t. I want real followers that enjoy reading my stuff.

Just to give this mystery/fantasy author the benefit of the doubt, I checked out her Twitter. Maybe she was truly interested in engaging with me specifically, and maybe I’d find something in her Twitter stream that caught my attention. Here’s what I saw:

To answer your question: No, I am most definitely not going to follow back. I have very little interest in having my Twitter flooded with people’s copy-pasted messages directed at others.

Here’s a tip: Instead of wasting that much time tweeting the same exact message to everyone you follow, how about making sure your tweets are interesting and worthwhile?