signs

Blue Bike

Stockholm’s Silly Sights

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I’ve just returned from a nice weekend getaway to Stockholm. My fiancée and I have gone there to witness a live show of the one-man comedy army Louis C.K.

If you don’t know who Louis C.K. is, I am so, so sorry. You have been deprived of life-enhancing laughter for way too long. You must check him out, starting with Shameless, working through Chewed Up and culminating in Hilarious. If you like these, then check out literally anything else of his! DO IT!

You all know me, so you know what’s coming. Yup, some more pictures snapped in the streets of Stockholm, to be ridiculed. Let’s make it happen.

No Dancing Tram

No Moonwalking OR Capoeira on the tram? Sounds boring!

Car Suicide

“Dude, don’t do it, she’s not worth it! You’ll find another Renault!”

Chimneys In Disguise

“Sssshhhh! Stay very quiet, they won’t know we’re not people!”

Fighting Bunnies

“Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em” Rabbits. Coming summer 2013!

Red Tie Thieves

That’s uncanny! How’d you know I wear a red tie and carry Monopoly money in my pocket?!

Rude Elevator Hiss

Well that’s an unnecessarily rude elevator!

Slipping On A Roomba

Slipping on a Roomba – the number one cause of home injuries!

Flying Colourful Bikes

Yet another group of hapless hippies are lured into Magneto’s clever trap!

That’s all for now.

Tomorrow I’m leaving to Ukraine until the 8th of April, so there’s a good chance I won’t be posting stuff. Then again, I’m fickle, so who knows, right?

More stuff our canteen writes

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The latest instalment in our canteen’s crazy signs is here. It’s not for the weak of heart or sane of mind, so turn away now if your mental health is important to you.

I…I don’t even know where to begin

Nevermind the fact that they’re suspiciously vague about which poultry is being served. Does it come with “meat soup” and “liquid juice”? But it seems like they also murdered the guy who sold them the poultry and sautéed him! I’m quite sure that should be illegal, although I’m not a lawyer, so don’t take my word for it.

Also, who is Squase? Is he a friend of the seller, or the hitman who killed him? Is “Peber” a code word for leaving no witnesses? I’m too scared to find out the answers to any of those questions, lest I be sautéed next…

Stuff our canteen writes

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A while back I’ve mocked our work canteen for a dubious and pointless sign they’d put up to describe a dish. It turns out that unintentionally funny signs are their forte.

I’m hereby starting what promises to be a recurring theme involving the stuff our canteen comes up with. Whenever I notice one of their odd signs I’ll take a picture and share it right here for your enjoyment.

Also, taking pictures of canteen signs is as close as I’ll ever get to my lifelong dream of becoming a paparazzi. Here are the latest two:

Most of the time our canteen deals with pretty ordinary types of chicken. However, every once in a while a true monster of a chicken has to be wrestled by the whole of canteen staff. That’s when we get a sign like this:

Godzilla's got nothing on those poultry beasts!

Also, sometimes the canteen manages to set my expectations way too high:

Soup with pies?! That's genius!

Imagine my disappointment when all I get in the end is some basic pea soup instead. Way to get my hopes up, canteen! I can only wish that they were talking about a legitimate pie floater.