Guest Expressed: “Top 5 Ways to Kill a Zombie”

Today Sean introduces us to some gruesome, yet useful tips for becoming a pro at zombie killing during the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Enter Sean:

The undead have a natural knack for not staying dead. So how do you kill a zombie? Are they every truly “killed”? In most movies and Sci-Fi horror films, zombies do seem to be able to be killed or at least stopped. I would liken it to giving them a final resting place. But whatever you believe there are only a few ways to put down a zombie. Here are the top 5 ways to make sure the dead stay dead

1. Decapitation

This is a favorite among the zombie elite kill squad. Simply drop the zombie in their tracks by shear removal of its head. But beware sometime, just like a chicken; it can still continue running around or in this case biting. Some suitable choice weapons for this are a sword, chainsaw and sometimes a hard bat swing can get the heads rolling!

2. Bashing the Head In

Now this is a bit gruesome, but just as effective as decapitation. The key here is to ensure you don’t get too close while performing this action. Such tools like a baseball bat or those golf clubs you have in your closet would be useful here.

3. Grind Them Up

This is somewhat difficult to do, but this can effectively put a zombie at rest. Some excellent places to do this are meat factories or other places with heavy machinery. The basic idea is to get a zombie into one of the machines there and grind them up till they stop moving. This can be hard to do since you need both heavy machinery and its power source working, which may be a problem if the electric grid is down. If you’re going into a building where the power is out, don’t forget to bring some personalized flashlights you don’t want to get caught in the dark with those brain suckers.

4. Melt Them Away

Dump a zombie in a pit of acid and watch them melt. You could also light them on fire which would be a similar effect or dump them into boiling water. Just make sure with the water that it’s hot enough to melt them and not just give them some nasty boils. If you can find a steel mill, look for some molten hot metal that can be poured onto the zombie or push them into the hot metal pit.

5. Blow the Head Away

It’s a well known fact that if you remove a zombie’s head it will stop. Well at least it’s a good theory – without the head you at least won’t get bit. So grab a shot gun for this one and blow their head off. It’s a sure way to stop them in their tracks and easy enough to do from a distance without the risk of being bit. But make sure to bring some towels as this one can get messy. Stop by a hotel and pick up some of their custom printed towels and have them handy.

Some these methods may seem repulsive, but hey do you want to get bit or keep living to see tomorrow. Just keep these in mind the next time we have a zombie apocalypse. Also, make sure to share these tips with a friend – it could save both of your lives!

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