I was on Twitter the other day, trolling people and looking for life-affirming quotes from Buddha to share with my followers.
I was minding my own business and stalking celebrities, when I suddenly noticed a tweet directed at me.
The tweet read:
I can’t adequately describe the number of things wrong with that tweet, but I’m going to try.
The tweet is a perfect jumble of first-time introduction, useless information and a passive-aggressive threat.
So, you’ve followed me on Twitter at some point. That’s great, because I’m always happy to get followers that are interested in the blog and my occasional tweets. Now you’re “cleaning” your Twitter and unfollowing people you don’t want to follow. That is also great. I have done a major clean-up myself earlier this year, and encourage everyone to do the same.
Stupid question: Why tell me about it? If my tweets aren’t for you, just unfollow me quietly. It’s a single click away.
Make no mistake: the above tweet was sent with a single purpose—a blatant and almost-desperate attempt to blackmail me into following a person I didn’t even know. If you’re only following me in the expectation that I’ll return the favour—don’t. I want real followers that enjoy reading my stuff.
Just to give this mystery/fantasy author the benefit of the doubt, I checked out her Twitter. Maybe she was truly interested in engaging with me specifically, and maybe I’d find something in her Twitter stream that caught my attention. Here’s what I saw:
To answer your question: No, I am most definitely not going to follow back. I have very little interest in having my Twitter flooded with people’s copy-pasted messages directed at others.
Here’s a tip: Instead of wasting that much time tweeting the same exact message to everyone you follow, how about making sure your tweets are interesting and worthwhile?
Nest Expressed 
Dude, why did you hide their Twitter handle? They seem like exactly the sort of person I should be following…
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Hey, at least you’ll know EXACTLY what you’ll get if you follow them!
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Ugh, that is just like people who leave a comment on the blog that they are following and would I follow back. NO! I only follow you if I want to actually follow what you put out. So annoying! The dumb thing is, if someone follows me on either my blog or Twitter, I will always go check them out to see if I want to follow or not. No need to ask or manipulate! I guess it must work, though, as you say. There are lots and lots of people who only care about numbers.
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Exactly. Instead of “blackmailing” people, it’s a much better idea to try and give a shit about them. I typically also check out my commenters’ blogs.
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Bravo, Daniel! I couldn’t agree more. What a crass, lazy way of trying to increase followers.
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Some people are just more interested in increasing the follower numbers than trying to interact with the ones they already have. Thanks for dropping by.
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But it’s so last year to brag about Twitter followers, isn’t it? I really enjoy watching social media evolve – Friends, likes, followers, reach, analytics. Cripes. Universal freaking high school.
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Tell me about it.
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On a bizarrely serious note, I went off on someone the other day for posting pics of her kid on FB. Social media is hilarious… and just a bit scary. Everything is potential wank material for the crazies.
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Yeah people rarely set the boundaries on social media. Transparent world. Can we get to see that famous rant of yours? Write a post about it!
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Sorry to get all serious here: I don’t want to live in, or see kids raised in, a paranoid world. But, no matter how much I love the internet, I’d be a basket case if I had kids who were getting to be old enough to be online, but still stupid enough to think everyone online is looking out for their best interests. Yes, I think that rant is on its way to the blog. It may or may not be funny…
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But, the real question here is ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME BACK?!?
Hugs!
Valerie
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I BELIEVE I AM!
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You mean the 552 tweets I sent out threatening people to follow my blog, wasn’t such a good idea after all? Damn! Thought it might work, guess I better get busy and delete them. 😉
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Oh no, direct threats work, you should do more of those! It’s only the passive-aggressive part that’s shady.
I blackmail all of my Twitter followers.
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Damn! Wish I would have read this before I deleted them all! I must have missed your blackmail message, but of course I haven’t been on Twitter much lately.
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I wonder how many people actually followed back?!
She could write a book… How to bully people into following you on social media.
I’ll admit to not using my Twitter account. But I intend to! I always enjoy your tweets Daniel.
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Actually I saw her wall fill up with “Thank you for the follow!” posts shortly after, so I’m guessing it actually does work.
I’ll take “not using Twitter” over “using Twitter for obnoxious spam” any day!
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Network warriors…We just seen an advertisement for a workshop you can sign up for, that will teach you how to be a Network Warrior…whatcha think….this one of their students? As for Inion & I, we’re heading over to read about Carries knobby toe!!! Luv us some Carrie Rubin & Nest Express Rocks. Once again Daniel you had us laughing at passive aggressive. Excellent Post & point. Unfortunately the ones who need to read & see it won’t. Therefore, we will be spreading this post in hopes that they will get the message.
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Network warriors? Is that a new Hollywood movie? If not, it should be!
Doesn’t matter if the Twitter offender won’t read it – entertainment value remains the same. Thanks for the visit.
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Oh, wow, that’s pretty tacky. Seems to me it’s a sure way NOT to get someone to follow you back. I’m so Twitter naive. So much goes on there that I don’t know about or don’t understand. I don’t get this Favstar thing. It seems a bit like a competition to get the most stars and retweets. Who has the energy for that? Maybe I’m off-base, and that’s not what it’s for at all. As I said, I’m Twitter naive.
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I’d rather be Twitter naive than get sucked into some hidden competition about follower stats and so on. Twitter’s a tool to connect, not a sport.
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My thoughts exactly. I mean, where else can I tell the world about my knobby, swollen toe and get a response from a guy in Denmark?…
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How your knobby toe isn’t already international news is beyond me!
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I’m so GLAD I never got a Twitter account… I have no desire to read most of the drivel I see people repost from there. Your blog post here confirmed I’ve been wise to avoid it.
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I have NO desire to read… where is the edit button… now my comment make no sense… oh well… I’m old and prone to brain farts these days.
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Twitter can be great if you only follow the people you want to interact with. But yes, there’s absolutely a flood of crap there too.
PS: As an extra bonus I have edited your first comment so that it now makes sense!
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