WTF Report: “But(t) why?”

You may have come across Rick Owens’s new fashion collection on your favorite social media. If you haven’t, here:

If, for some reason, you cannot watch the above, here’s what you’re missing out on: A bunch of models walk the catwalk wearing each other as elaborate…costumes, I guess? Backpacks? Frontpacks? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it looks weird as hell. Here’s a still shot from the video:

Woman wearing another woman

“I’m 34, you’re 35, if you add our ages, you get 6–“
“Don’t you say it, Clarice!”

You probably expect me to make fun of this exercise in insanity, as I often do. But I won’t. It’s not my place to pass judgement. Besides, people in the know have referred to the performance as “a tribute to female strength,” suggesting “the physical labors of pregnancy,” so I can only assume this must be true.

But I do wonder what goes on through the models’ minds as they participate in this misguided yoga contortionist extravaganza. Look at their faces. None of them can possibly be enjoying this. How did the recruitment for this go?

“Hi, Jennifer, is that right?”

“That’s me.”

“Great. Grrrrreat. Great-great-great-great-great. Great! Could you shut the door, please? Sooooooo, Jennifer. You’re a really dedicated model, aren’t you?”

“I try.”

“You sure do. You suuuure do. Okay, so here’s what we’re going to need you to do for this next gig. Take a look at these concept sketches.”

“Dear God! Are these people all right? They look like they need help!”

“No, silly. That’s your costume. You’d be carrying Clarice on your shoulders while her hair streams freely downward, letting gravity pull it every which way.”

“But…her face…it’d be in my crotch.”

“It’s a tribute to female strength!”

“Her butt cheeks…they’d be in my face.”

“It’s about the physical labors of pregnancy, Jennifer. We’re breaking new ground here.”

“My face. Her butt cheeks.”

“We’re visionaries. Fashion revolutionaries. We dare to show people what nobody else does.”

“Butt cheeks.”

*sign* “Fine. How much do you want?”

“My yearly salary for this one catwalk.”

“Isn’t that a little too–”

“BUTT CHEEKS!”

“Okay okay. You got it.”

“I hate my life.”

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9 thoughts on “WTF Report: “But(t) why?”

  1. Was it supposed to be a lesbian fashion show? I mean you’ve got to admit they were 90% of the way to performing lesbian acts. As for female strength, my females adopt far more strenuous positions in the jungle every day.

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  2. I don’t really know what to think of this! It’s odd, weird, disturbing and yet… I do admire those ladies for doing the show.
    And the dialog you wrote sounds completely plausible! Haha! Art ain’t cheap.
    WTF?!!

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    • Art nowadays. I just assume that it all exists on some plane of understanding that’s perpetually beyond me. So I just nod and accept whatever they claim it is. It’s easier that way. Also, butt cheeks!

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  3. That might be the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a while. And considering the Internet, that’s saying a lot. But your telling about it made me laugh out loud. So I guess that makes the visual nightmare worth it.

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