In late 2011 I’ve written a blog post where I made fun of the sexist nature of a book called “Don’ts For Wives”.

You can read this world-famous and critically acclaimed article right here.

Today I woke up to a fun little comment on that article:

I’m extremely touched to have received my first ever hate comment. This means I’m becoming visible in the online world and my blogging efforts are finally bearing fruit.

I decided to not only keep the comment, but respond to it in this blog post. I simply can’t let a great comedic opportunity like that pass me by.

And so, here goes:

“Hi there, lk nfdsk (if that is, in fact, your name),

I’m glad you’ve stopped by my blog just long enough to vomit out a few confused words in the comments section. I appreciate your attempt to provide an opposing point of view and stimulate a healthy discussion. Thank you!

However, I couldn’t help but notice that your comment was as nonsensical as it was grammatically challenged. Nevertheless, I will try to extrapolate the points you may have been trying to make from the jumble of words you call a sentence. I will address each point individually, so that we all can get a satisfactory closure to this hilarious misunderstanding.

Point One: I am unaware that “Don’ts For Husbands” exists

If you continued reading beyond the title of the blog post, you’d have noticed that I acknowledge the existence of “Don’ts For Husbands” in the second paragraph.

I’m not sure how that has escaped your attention. Maybe you were too busy confusing “feminism” with “feminist” or otherwise butchering the English language. Maybe you were overwhelmed by the amount of words in the article, because you’ve only read colouring books up until now.

In any case, you have needlessly and redundantly (see what I did there?) restated the point I have already made in the article itself.

Point Two: The fact that “Don’ts For Husbands” exists invalidates the points I make about “Don’ts For Wives”

OK, “Don’ts for Wives” has a twin book for husbands. What impact does that have on my article about “Don’ts For Wives”. Does the existence of one somehow weaken the points made about the other? Or should that make it impossible for me to state those points?

I don’t believe that’s how the world works. If it did, then the fact that there are other people in the world would prevent me from calling you a moron. Now, let’s see: you’re a moron! Yup, that theory doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

Maybe the idea was to show everyone that you know of another book? In which case – congratulations on knowing a whole two books. You’re truly the Socrates of Internet age.

Point Three: Being a feminist is a bad thing

I may be misinterpreting your sincere attempts at communication, but it appears that you’ve used “feminist”/”feminism” as an insult. I can’t see how the fact that someone defends women’s rights can be used against him/her. Then again, here I’m using logical reasoning, so maybe that’s where you and I are different?

Point Four: You are unable to distinguish a comedy blog from a website offering serious commentary

I’m sure you weren’t actually trying to make this point, but it came through loud and clear!

Did you notice that my tagline reads: “Read. Laugh. Learn*. Return (*learning optional)”? Wait, why am I even asking? Of course you haven’t! We’ve already established that reading is like Kryptonite to you.

My blog is many things, but it’s most certainly not a platform for factual and unbiased discussions of the world. If you want some of that, watch Fox News. Ha, kidding! You’re better off watching Pikachu argue with Tinky Winky. Same educational value, but far more entertaining to observe.

Thanks again for visiting! It’s been a true pleasure having you on my blog, if only for the brief moment that it took you to make a misguided and pointless comment.

Something tells me I won’t be hearing back from you, so I wish you all the best with your future Internet adventures. May your awkward comments fill many an online forum and cause many a confused reaction. After all, people like you are what makes the Internet so damn fun!

Should you wish to visit and comment again, I’ll be here. I’m always up for a good laugh.

Feministically yours,
Daniel Nest”