WTF Report: “Putin is…”

You know about my love/hate relationship with Google, right? I’ve written a guest post about it a while ago.

You also know about my hate/hate relationship with Putin. I’ve written post after post after post on the subject.

So then I thought: “Why not combine my two hobbies?”

That’s how I decided to give Google the opportunity to tell us all what he thinks of Putin. Why should I be the only one sharing my opinions? I set out to use Google’s autocomplete feature to paint a thorough picture of who Putin is and what he should do. It turns out that, as with many other things, Google is extremely conflicted on the subject of Putin. What I found out is that Putin is:

Putin is

Who wants:

Putin wants

Yet he won’t:

Putin won't

Because he doesn’t:

Putin doesn't

That’s why he has:

Putin has

Which is why he needs:

Putin needs

So there you have it: Putin is a homosexual evil thug, who wants Alaska back to restore the Soviet Union. He will go to war, because he has no respect for Obama and won’t even shake his hand. He needs to be stopped, but he doesn’t care since he doesn’t drink and has balls. Which is why he’s right but has already lost and will eventually die. That’s…surprisingly accurate? I don’t know anymore, you be the judge.

14 thoughts on “WTF Report: “Putin is…”

    • That’s my guess too. Google probably figured there’s no point in regurgitating something everyone already knows. Like that Putin’s the President or that he takes ugly topless pictures.


  1. flyingplatypi says:

    Don’t we all want Alaska back? I mean… Deep down inside. Legend says the vampires took it years ago after all.




      • flyingplatypi says:

        I bet they just lay down in the snow naked and glittery. And that’s why no one can find them. Ingenious really…




  2. Sarah Palin was right! Putin does want Alaska back. Google knew. Google always knows.

    This is a fantastic post idea… you may just start a trend young man. Well done!


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