Comment Spam Roulette

I get some comments on the blog. Not an avalanche of comments, but some. Comments from regular readers, comments from other bloggers, invisible comments from an evolved race of mutant fish that communicates with me exclusively via brain waves.

I also get a fair share of spam comments, or comment spam, if you’re feeling fancy, which I know you are, fancy pants. And that’s how you set a record for most commas in a single sentence, kids. Thankfully this comment spam gets caught by the extremely effective Akismet plugin. What’s great about it is that I still get to read the spam comments behind the scenes.

While my “Search Term Roulette” posts are all about making fun of stupid search terms, I don’t want to sink to that level here. No. Instead I want to take the time to respond to this comment spam in a manner becoming a respectful blogger. After all, somebody spent so much time to find my blog and write a dedicated, even if spammy, comment. Who am I to ignore them?

1. This article is really wonderful, a friend gave me a look. I set eyes on, I would like to express the feelings I looked. Others did not feel that I do not mind, at least now I show myself….

Good for you! You shouldn’t ever mind showing yourself to others, regardless of what the cops or sanity may tell you. Your friend is as wise as he is definitely a creepy stalker. I’d be cautious of him “giving you a look” from now on.

2. Quite nice submit, remarkable. Its quite various from other posts. Thanks for sharing…

Each of my post is very various indeed. Who knew that letters could be combined in so many ways. Like, at least 173 ways, to be exact.

3. Have a great day! I’m very happy when see your post. I quite endorse your point of view. I will continue to focus on your blog. I affirm that the future I will see more about your ingenious views….

My blog is like an optical illusion. If you focus on its center for at least 50 hours in a row you will find yourself seeing little decorative dragons bathing in maple syrup and singing 80s songs, which is something dragons aren’t prone to do. Let me know how it goes for you.

4. Your article is here, the feeling of a mere individual can harvest more. Let these people from all over the world, even in the heart with empathy. We are not solitude….

Wow. I’ve never seen the plot of The Matrix summed up so well in so few words. Thank you!

5. This article made me effulge. After doing some reading of this article, I impressed a lot. I will pay more attention to your blog. I wish everyone like me here gains happy, bring in moved….

It made you effulge? Sounds serious. I’d take at least two antibiotic pills and administer a self-enema if I were you. See if can bring in more moved.

6. Thanks a good deal for experiencing this beauty blog with me. I am appreciating it extremely considerably! Searching ahead to an additional great weblog. Good luck to the author! All the ideal!…

Thank you for acknowledging my beauty blog. Stay tuned for more make up tips and the upcoming shoe shopping guide. All the ideal! Peace with the essence! Words with the random!

7. Your article is like a big tree, and we can squat in your tree together for happiness.

There’s no need to squat. My blog is a baobab, so there’s plenty of room for everybody.

8. Was some to tiredly return to own small room, soon started tidying up thing, thoughted of that small guy at the moment incredibly and still just the hospital is foolish, his heart has no since of a burst of piercing….

Will gains of the room in flavour. Two times he skidded in the darkness. Suddenly, ninjas everywhere. The moment he thoughted he’s dead. Such is life.

9. “That you do some thing to send to be.”Yang Yi stretched out a hand to at will choose a grape to throw into a mouth, didn’t understand thereafter of say:”That wench isn’t very great problem again, doctor said, can soon wake up of, do you like this…

Yes, the Bible is a confusing read.

10. Good blog! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written….

True. There are blogs out there that will literally jump at your face and claw your eyes out. Mine, not so much.

11. A splendid article will open up one’s eyes because the article is true, make us move and laugh. When I set eyes on this article, I believe I can bring in these….

Bring in which?! Bring in what?! You can’t just leave me hanging, dude. Not cool!

12. If you say I do not care to set eyes on this article, the next time I am followed about your article, I think I will never again careless. Do you trust yourself, you do not know your article can make people so obsessed with….

Look…I…I like you too, but maybe it’s time we start seeing other people? It’s not you, it’s me!

13. I would like to realize when you write this article is what kind of mood, why would you write this article, also written so okay, is that I can learn. I think I could record something like you….

Xbox Kinect, is that you?! Could you kindly not record me, please?

14. Frequently we do not place up on weblogs, but I want to point out that this set up really pressured me individually to do so! Substantially exceptional publish…

Pompously grandiose thank you for this.

Leave a comment, get a reply. That's how I roll.

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