Jun 272013
 

I get some comments on the blog. Not an avalanche of comments, but some. Comments from regular readers, comments from other bloggers, invisible comments from an evolved race of mutant fish that communicates with me exclusively via brain waves.

I also get a fair share of spam comments, or comment spam, if you’re feeling fancy, which I know you are, fancy pants. And that’s how you set a record for most commas in a single sentence, kids. Thankfully this comment spam gets caught by the extremely effective Akismet plugin. What’s great about it is that I still get to read the spam comments behind the scenes.

While my “Search Term Roulette” posts are all about making fun of stupid search terms, I don’t want to sink to that level here. No. Instead I want to take the time to respond to this comment spam in a manner becoming a respectful blogger. After all, somebody spent so much time to find my blog and write a dedicated, even if spammy, comment. Who am I to ignore them?

1. This article is really wonderful, a friend gave me a look. I set eyes on, I would like to express the feelings I looked. Others did not feel that I do not mind, at least now I show myself….

Good for you! You shouldn’t ever mind showing yourself to others, regardless of what the cops or sanity may tell you. Your friend is as wise as he is definitely a creepy stalker. I’d be cautious of him “giving you a look” from now on.

2. Quite nice submit, remarkable. Its quite various from other posts. Thanks for sharing…

Each of my post is very various indeed. Who knew that letters could be combined in so many ways. Like, at least 173 ways, to be exact.

3. Have a great day! I’m very happy when see your post. I quite endorse your point of view. I will continue to focus on your blog. I affirm that the future I will see more about your ingenious views….

My blog is like an optical illusion. If you focus on its center for at least 50 hours in a row you will find yourself seeing little decorative dragons bathing in maple syrup and singing 80s songs, which is something dragons aren’t prone to do. Let me know how it goes for you.

4. Your article is here, the feeling of a mere individual can harvest more. Let these people from all over the world, even in the heart with empathy. We are not solitude….

Wow. I’ve never seen the plot of The Matrix summed up so well in so few words. Thank you!

5. This article made me effulge. After doing some reading of this article, I impressed a lot. I will pay more attention to your blog. I wish everyone like me here gains happy, bring in moved….

It made you effulge? Sounds serious. I’d take at least two antibiotic pills and administer a self-enema if I were you. See if can bring in more moved.

6. Thanks a good deal for experiencing this beauty blog with me. I am appreciating it extremely considerably! Searching ahead to an additional great weblog. Good luck to the author! All the ideal!…

Thank you for acknowledging my beauty blog. Stay tuned for more make up tips and the upcoming shoe shopping guide. All the ideal! Peace with the essence! Words with the random!

7. Your article is like a big tree, and we can squat in your tree together for happiness.

There’s no need to squat. My blog is a baobab, so there’s plenty of room for everybody.

8. Was some to tiredly return to own small room, soon started tidying up thing, thoughted of that small guy at the moment incredibly and still just the hospital is foolish, his heart has no since of a burst of piercing….

Will gains of the room in flavour. Two times he skidded in the darkness. Suddenly, ninjas everywhere. The moment he thoughted he’s dead. Such is life.

9. “That you do some thing to send to be.”Yang Yi stretched out a hand to at will choose a grape to throw into a mouth, didn’t understand thereafter of say:”That wench isn’t very great problem again, doctor said, can soon wake up of, do you like this…

Yes, the Bible is a confusing read.

10. Good blog! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written….

True. There are blogs out there that will literally jump at your face and claw your eyes out. Mine, not so much.

11. A splendid article will open up one’s eyes because the article is true, make us move and laugh. When I set eyes on this article, I believe I can bring in these….

Bring in which?! Bring in what?! You can’t just leave me hanging, dude. Not cool!

12. If you say I do not care to set eyes on this article, the next time I am followed about your article, I think I will never again careless. Do you trust yourself, you do not know your article can make people so obsessed with….

Look…I…I like you too, but maybe it’s time we start seeing other people? It’s not you, it’s me!

13. I would like to realize when you write this article is what kind of mood, why would you write this article, also written so okay, is that I can learn. I think I could record something like you….

Xbox Kinect, is that you?! Could you kindly not record me, please?

14. Frequently we do not place up on weblogs, but I want to point out that this set up really pressured me individually to do so! Substantially exceptional publish…

Pompously grandiose thank you for this.

Leave a comment, get a reply. That's how I roll.

  31 Responses to “Comment Spam Roulette”

Comments (30)
  1. OMG. #7 is pretty much the best thing ever. I think I’ll write it on my bathroom mirror. And EFFULGE is such a great word – never seen it in my spam! Kinda envious actually.

     
  2. I love #7! LOL

     
  3. “In cause of Visual aspect of a Devil in more plebeian at US friendly online casinos and/or
    as part of the welcome bonus2. http://www.onlinecasino111.co.uk/ cryptical in the jungle lays a brilliant treasure,
    principal mustiness hit on diffuse 17s.”

    Something about the combination of plebeians, a Devil and the terms “principal mustiness” makes me want to write a poem.

     
    • Ha, believe it or not, your comment was highlighted as spam, shockingly! I had to unspam it.

      And I’m very much looking forward to that epic poem now!

       
  4. Hahaha! I’ve had the same problem in the past, before Akismet. In fact, some of those comments are familiar…

     
  5. Hahaha. This is so funny! You made my day by publishing this post! And yep, that is No spam. :)

     
  6. Haha, love it! I have done several of these posts too.

     
  7. I recently did a spam post…I figured there has to be a use for such things correct?

     
  8. These are awesome. I’m pretty sure that comment spam is the biggest let-down ever for a blogger. At first you’re all “Yay! Someone commented!” and then it turns it “Son of a bitch! Only robots like me.”

     
  9. Can’t wait for the make-up tips and the shoe shopping guide! Your blog so funny and make me need to have many happiness.

     
  10. Love it! I am so amused by some of the ridiculous ways these things are always worded…What are they trying to gain? I don’t get the point of it…

     
    • I guess the idea is to have the comment show up on the blog as “real” and then lead search engine bots and people through the hyperlink to a shady, shady place where their souls will turn into Gary Busey’s face?

      That, or they’re just really happy to give me blog fodder.

      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for dropping by.

       
  11. This. Was. Amazing. I never know what to do with all those damn posts.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

     
  12. While I see your eflubulous yet garrolousness ness of nest-expressed, I have yet to find another blog to share with well written definitions of what is possible or SEO or Lui luoelew Vuton bags in this network. I am so glad to have founded your blog and these well written expressions of ideas I thought. I be sure to share with all my other spam friends in the grocery aisle. I look forward to meeting the next date of topic for sure.

     
  13. STOP! I can’t stand it…now you’ve given me a reason to save the nonsense spam comments I get. You crack me up!

     
  14. I decided to copy a conveniently vague but surprisingly articulate spam comment from my own blog to use here:
    “Wonderful presentation! You’ve represented your points quite well in this article. Not many people are focused enough to write this well. Thank you so much.”

     
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